Closed Doors
by SukiHunny
Summary: **COMPLETED and REVISED!!!** A different Kaoru like you had never seen before... R&R!
1. Chapter One

**This story is quite different from the original story but still I have retained it original characters**

**I have written this story in likeness to the endless love stories that has personified K&K together. So I hope you'll like this story.**

** I don't own Ruruoni Kenshin.**

** __**

**_ CLOSED DOORS_**

Chapter 1:

Kaoru picked up the big bouquet of expensive flowers from the corner of her carriage. Carrying the flowers with her right hand and a white candle on the left, she pushed the door of the carriage gently with her elbows to close it.

She feasted her eyes on the wide view of the place she was in. Taking in a long and hard breath, she felt the cold morning air entering her lungs.

Kaoru walked with no hesitation in the middle of the wet earth she was trekking. Her every step makes her slipper marked with small amounts of mud as her feet sank into them. However, it did not mean that she has slow down. She knows where she is going. Even if she has to walk here blindfolded, she still knows the way. Her feet had already memorized' every spot in that place.

From a not so far distance, there were two men who stopped in their work of cleaning a tomb to watch the image walking in the wide vicinity of the place.

Oi, there she is again. Didn't we always see here in the cemetery? Who do you think she's visiting?

Her husband, maybe. I thought so because she would always come here alone. Seitsi-san told me that she had been coming here almost everyday by this hour for these past years now.

Her husband's lucky, don't you think? She couldn't even forget him.

Baka! It is because you and your wife nag each other! I think your wife really looks forward to your death day

Idiot! You're picking up on me again. Will you stop getting drunk because I might be the one to dig your grave, you know

The soft air carried the loud laughter of the two.

Kaoru paused. She knotted her forehead. Did she hear laughter? She tilted her head a little and focused her ears to the slight rustling of the leaves of the old oak tree that was near her. She wailed her head afterwards.

She kneeled down upon entering a small sanctuary made up of wood. She placed the flowers on top of a tombstone inside.

Lighting up the candle, she positioned it beside the flowers. Moreover, with that, she closed her eyes to pray silently.

Afterwards she stood up and tried to make her gloomy appearance happy before she spoke.

Hey Kenji, guess what? I had just finished having the Dojo remodeled. Yahiko and I are really getting big money so it only means that I also must work doubly harder, neh? But its okay, I want to be busy anyway. I-I need to be busy.

Her voice seemed to crack with the last words she said. She suddenly felt the prick of tears penetrating at the back of her eyes and enveloped her with overwhelming grief.

You know very well, and that's what I've always been telling you before, that I'm willing to return these back--every material thing that I have at present--to Kami-sama just to let you live again. If only I could just have had you for a long time. Why does Kami have to take you anyway

A tear began to slip on Kaoru's cheek. She didn't mind to wipe it off. Always, everyday, no matter how she tried to control herself, it's always like this that her visit to Kenji would end up.

A single tear. It carried all her anguish, all her grief, all her missing and sorry.

Time was not able to heal her wound. Primarily because it was Kaoru herself who doesn't want to let go of the past. No matter how she wanted to, she really couldn't. 

Just how could she forget the love of her life if the wound she carries in her heart is still fresh and aching?

She treaded back to the place she was before. If a while ago her feet had known where to go very well, now it just walks to nowhere.

Though there is no question whether she should be going back to the Dojo now, it's as if she doesn't even care.

The cold air passed again beneath the leaves of the big trees of the cemetery. Kaoru didn't mind. She was blind for all the beauty of nature. For her, life is just a never-ending journey in a dark and steep road that just leads to the grave where she and Kenji would see each other again.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Unmindingly, Kaoru shoved her fingers on her now short hair as she trailed along the direction of the Dojo. When finally came at it, she entered a big gate for which there was an engraving at the side of its wooden panel.

Kamiya Dojo

Head Master - Kamiya Kaoru

Teachers - Myoujin Yahiko, Tsukayama Yutarou,

Shinichi Kosaburou and Higashidani Outa

She was inside after a few steps. She looked at the wide surroundings. The small garden that used to be there was replaced by a beautiful landscape garden that her small students would play along. 

Her feet took her further inside to a wide hallway where many students have already started practicing. 

When the incumbent instructor caught sight of her, he signaled them all to stop. He told them to greet the head instructor. At his command, they all bowed to her and said good morning. Kaoru replied by bowing to them in return and then nodded to the sensei for them to continue. She decided to head to her private office where large workloads of students wanting to enroll in her Dojo awaits her. But before she did so, Yutarou, one of the primary instructors spoke to her.

Gomen, Kamiya-sensei. Yahiko-san wishes to speak to you but that you weren't around. Should I go and tell him you have arrived now?

Kaoru seemed surprised, Is that so? No, I'll be the one to go to him. Arigatou, Yutarou-san.

She saw the half-opened shoji of Yahiko's private office after walking past several training hallways. Settling herself outside while fixing her distraught self because of the unhappy' moments this morning, she suddenly asked herself why would Yahiko want to talk. Is there a problem? She forgot to ask Yutarou-san if he's impatient or what.

Brushing a few strands of hair out of her youthful face, she managed to take a deep breath as she smiled before pushing the shoji aside.

She saw Yahiko sitting in front of his table. And was all the more startled to see that there was a visitor sitting also in his front, but he was nonetheless not facing her when she came in.

Oops, sorry. I thought you had no visitor was her apology.

No, Kaoru-san please stay. I really was expecting you. I want you to meet the head master of the Himura Training School, Yahiko smilingly said. Himura-san, meet Kamiya Kasshin Dojo head Master and Directress, Ms. Kaoru Kamiya.

With that, the man who faced Yahiko stood up and turned around. He bowed his head in honor of meeting the head directress of the nationally-famed Kamiya Dojo.

The smile from Kaoru's face slowly disappeared against the stare of the man in front of her. She suddenly felt weak on the knees. Her hands held to the still opened shoji. But it was only in a moment for she returned the smile on her lips. But it didn't went up to her eyes this time. She stepped a few inches closer and she bowed also in return.

It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Himura.

Kaoru felt her heart skipped a beat as their eyes were bound with each other. She felt like there was some kind of bird wanting to loose free from her chest.

She instantly looked at the other way, avoiding his gaze. With what she did, she somewhat saw a sly smile on his face. She felt insulted. All she wanted to do now was to listen to Yahiko, who was saying something to her now.

He just came from Yokohama. I was actually joking that he might not be trusting our standards here so he thought of inspecting us personally, half-jokingly Yahiko said to his sensei.

I already have told you, Yahiko-san your school has a very good reputation and I trust my students being trained here, smilingly said Kenshin. I just thought I'd see for myself how things would work out since this will be our school's graduates' first job.

Kaoru remained silently standing. She didn't trust her voice to speak. And any moments from now, she wouldn't be able to fake the smile she still has.

Sumanu gentlemen, may I be excused? her impatience seemed short.

Kenshin barely nodded while Yahiko surprisingly looked at her. Nevertheless, it did not stop her from leaving the room. He saw a glint of desperation in the eyes of his sensei. She may not be speaking but he could read her actions very well.

Kaoru was holding her head upon exiting the room. She suddenly felt it was aching. Her feet brought her straightly to her own private room. As she closed it, she weakly sat near the window. Misao, her friend has just in time came in to bring her food. Her friend automatically sensed something is wrong as Kaoru blankly looked at the horizon from her window.

Misao-chan, please hold my appointments today. And please cancel all my meetings and classes for this morning.

Hesitatingly, Misao asked back, Kaoru..? Douka shita no? Are you alright?

Without looking at her friend, I'm just tired, that's all.

Misao thought of leaving Kaoru to be alone for that is what her statement almost had meant. Hai. Here's your food in case you get hungry okay?

Once alone, Kaoru took a deep breath and looked at the spectacular view once more.

Life's really just like that she thought to herself.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few moments later, she heard a soft knock at her door. She should have yelled at Misao for not heeding her request when out came Yahiko's form from the door.

Yahiko has grown up into a fine man she had always pictured him to be when he grows up. He was in his late twenties now and has two children with his wife Tsubame. As Kaoru's student, he helped her attain her ambitions for the Dojo. Together, they had attained the dream Kaoru had once only had: establishment of the Kamiya Dojo as one of the finest sword technique schools in Japan. And that they did not dreamed in vain. Until now, he still teaches because he loves it, not like Kaoru who has stopped teaching already because he had wanted to. He wanted her to sit back and enjoy her life a little, a thing she was deprived of before. Except from special classes and monitoring sessions, Kaoru doesn't do anything more than that.

There was worry in Yahiko's face when he looked at Kaoru intentfully.

Do we got any problem here, Kaoru? he sweetingly asked her.

Grave sadness was obvious in Kaoru's face. Her shoulders seemed to have suddenly lowered a bit, like there was a big burden she carries. She looked away from her window and faced Yahiko's questioning face.

She knows to herself that everything in the past was buried along with Kenji and that it will remain that way. But facing the man responsible for everything was still not right, yet. And it seemed that Yahiko had not recognized Kenshin Himura from the difference of the way he looks at present. She sighed and spoke, Sorry Yahiko. It's just I was just surprised to see that Kenshin Himura, you know

Do you know him? I mean, I myself really find his name sounding familiar

I-ie. For a moment there I thought he was some husband of a friend back in those days t-that had left her after he got her p-pregnant. But he wasn't after all. He just look like him, she lied to Yahiko. She avoided the looks of her student.

Yahiko came close to her and held her hands.

It brought back bad memories?

She nodded. After a few seconds she stood up and smiled at him.

But I'm okay now, don't worry. 

Yahiko also nodded silently. But said after, Actually I was surprised to see him here. I'm afraid we'll be seeing more of this Mr. Himura whether we like it or not.

Is he going to stay here long? He's not going back to Yokohama?

Not for the time being, no. He wants to see and know, first-hand, how their school's graduates will come out. He looks kind, neh? So if you won't let your prejudice get the better of you, I'm sure you two will get along fine, Yahiko smilingly said to her.

Kaoru smiled back at him. He shouldn't know her true feelings. And she won't let him remember who that Kenshin Himura is. She shouldn't be setting aside the aims of her Dojo just because of her personal affairs. 

_ It has been many years that have passed_ she told herself.

_ And many things have changed. I'm much stronger now. I will not let myself be hurt by just someone_

But in the back of her mind, there are still questions crying out and asking for answers. Is she now ready to open up the closed doors she had sworn to never open again? Has time really healed the wounds of her heart?


	2. Chapter Two

**This chapter focuses more on the youthful' side of Kaoru Kamiya back in the days she was in her teen years and has the hots for Himura. Hope you like this one. PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! Again, this is A/U and there's a lot of OOCs so I hope you wouldn't get disappointed by how things are going on. Thank you so much.**

**Standard disclaimers apply. Me broke, don't sue. ^_^;**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter 2:

Just as when Kaoru shut the doors of her room inside her private apartments within the Dojo, a knock was heard from behind the main door. She went out again to see who it might be since it was almost past bedtime hours. When she opened the door, a tall man was in front of her who dressed like those westerners here in town.

? May I help you sir? she asked the man.

Konbanwa Jou-chan! How come you don't recognize me? said the man removing his hat. His spiked-hair was revealed. Could it be? 

Sanosuke? Sagara Sanosuke? Is that you? Kaoru said as she tried to look more closely at him in the dark.

Yah, yah its me now are you gonna give me some tea or what? he jokingly said.

Kaoru smiled at his retort, You're Sano alright! Come in!

She led him to her small kitchen inside. Sano exclaimed at the classy abode, Whoa! This Dojo's really different from the one I was in before, neh? How time flies!

Upon hearing Sano's reaction, all she did was smile. Upon reaching the destination, Would you like anything more? Bread, rice, anything?

No, arigatou Jou-chan. I've already eaten at the inn I'm staying at present. Just tea please.

Huh? That doesn't sound like you Sanosuke

Oi Kaoru! What d'ya mean??? Just give me some tea will ya??

Kaoru laughed. Haha! Now THAT sounds more like the Sano I know! Wait here then

The tanuki girl went now to the kitchen to fix him the tea he wanted.

A few moments later, as she watched him sip some from the tea she made, she finally asked him, So Sanosuke, how's France huh?

Without looking at her, he said, France is great! I mean--the place is nice, the sights plus the girls of course—but its so nice that it could make you go homesick often!

Kaoru gazed at him in wonder, Really? Oh how I wish I could also go there! I will take along Yahiko and the others! Most especially Megumi she looked at him mischievously.

Sano almost choked at the sound of Megumi's name. He composed himself before he tried to change the topic. Speaking of them, how are they?

Oh, they're all okay. Yahiko still teaches here at the Dojo, Tsubame gets to be the one to stay at their house--your pad, do you remember? Yahiko had it remodeled. Dr. Genzai and the kids are fine! They have grown up already—they live here actually. They live next to my apartments she stated.

Sano pause for a while, How bout you? You finally came over it'?

Kaoru's sudden change of mood from a jolly to a depressed one alerted Sano. Uhh, well you could disregard my last question you know, Jou-chan

The girl felt Sano's worry that she might relapse again to her grief, she tried to lighten up her face, Nah, its okay Sanosuke. Its just that this day has really been long for me and I got so tired

Indeed she seemed tired. Her eyelids look heavy. Sano took the opportunity to say goodbye, Yeah, you look like you fought with a dozen men! he said as he got up, Arigatou Jou-chan, for the nice tea

Kaoru hesitated, 

Gomen nasai she said as she shook her head.

Sano patted her shoulders, Oi Jou-chan, that's nothing okay? I still have a long time to stay here so we still have many chances to talk. We'll talk about you, neh? You seemed bothered. Much as I wanted to know it right now, I'm afraid I may have to let you sleep. Thank your already drooping eyes he said as he chuckled lightly.

Kaoru smiled in gratitude, Arigatou Sano. You still hadn't changed. You're still the bestfriend I've always had

The ex-gangster grinned at her in response as they came at the Dojo gates, Of course. I will still be here for you Kaoru, no matter what.

She interrupted him as she remembered where could he be staying for the night, Arigatou again. Hey wait, where are you going now? Do you have somewhere to sleep at?

Sano proudly replied, I think I'd be visiting my old house to see Yahiko for the meantime. Don't worry, I'm staying at an inn just right downtown. So, sayonara for now?

Kaoru smiled Hai. Take care Sanosuke. Sayonara.

With that, she closed the gates again and went back to her room.

Though tired, sudden flow of memories came flooding her mind. The smile she gave Sano a while ago didn't fade just yet. She remembered the kind of friendship they had once shared way back before.

After the tragedy that had struck Kaoru before, if Yahiko had been a younger brother who took care of her together with Misao and the others, Sanosuke would be her clinging staff' as she slowly learned to face the world anew again. Without his help, she wouldn't have gone through it all.

Sano was mean' to her in a way before, but he was kind in general. She took in Sano who was an ex-streetfighter, and offered him free stay at the Dojo. But as time passed, and most especially after what happened to her, he became the only person she trusted her secrets to, that sometimes she would not tell Yahiko.

But there was no point where Sano tried to court her. She and Yahiko would argue about it before.

Hey busu! I think the rooster's gone gay. He could've been one handsome chicken laughed the still-youngster Yahiko then.

And what makes you say those kind of things, Yahiko? He's so kind

Yeah I know. But it just makes me think why he doesn't make any move though I can see he's really so into your life, neh?

Yahiko, we're just friends.

What?? What just friends'? With the way you both treat each other, its no doubt why the fox lady left for Aizu so suddenly! Are you sure he's not your lover, busu? You can tell me, you know. he said as he grinned in mischief to Kaoru .

He's NOT my lover, Yahiko. I swear to Kami

And he's not even courting you?

Nope. Definitely not.

Poor rooster, said Yahiko while shaking his head in disbelief.

Kaoru also thought of the idea before on why Sano had begun to be so kind to her so sudden, but was not even courting her. Not one but many would think they're lovers. But as time flew by, Kaoru had proven to herself that it's only friendship she and Sano share. A kind of friendship much deeper than any romantic relationship of other couples.

It's nice for Sano to drop by at this time, she said to herself. I need his help. I know he'll understand me.

Kaoru was sleepless that night. What went around her mind was one thing that happened way back when her perception of life was still not that complicated. Back when she thought she would stay young no care for the worldwithout big responsibilities to serve as burdens

Actually she was the one who started everything. She was the one who turned the wheel of fate against herself. She was the one who made the situation. The one who made the way. What would she think, in her young mind, that that way she made will bring her to a road so steep, so dark and without assurance?

Many things floated in Kaoru's mind. There was beautiful music. There were people all around her. And in the center of that event, a man she knew very well, caught her attention as he'd always would. A man who sat at the corner of the place. Alone. Busy watching the happy people in the center of that big garden

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

It was, at that time, the wedding anniversary of Kazue and Makiko—long-time friends of the Kamiya family. Kaoru did on purpose to dress beautifully for that occasion because Megumi told her that tonight would be a now-or-never for her and Kenshin. The Kenshingumi were also invited.

The gathering was on its highlight when Kaoru felt hopeless about hers and Kenshin's situation that night. She didn't know that probably she has already drank a lot of sake when she saw him sitting in one corner drinking by himself. She watched him anxiously from the distance while he was watching the people celebrating.

Kaoru decided to step closer. When Kenshin's face became clearer to her, she felt her heart skipped a beat.

She thought fast on what to do. She brushed her long hair in a ponytail with her fingers and slightly fixed her kimono and finally took a deep breath.

Kaoru felt the thump in her heart. Ssshhh, she said and put her hand in the part of her heart, as if trying to silence it.

She ran over a servant offering sake. She kindly asked for some, gulped at one sip of it and proceeded towards Kenshin's direction.

When she finally came near him, she acted as if she tripped on something and she spilled some sake on his hakama.

a surprised Kenshin muttered.

Oh I'm sorry Kenshin! Gomen!apologized Kaoru. Afterwards she flashed the most sweetest smile on her face at him, while finding her own handkerchief inside her sleeves.

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to

Hai, Kaoru-dono. No harm done, Kenshin smilingly replied to her as he got his own handkerchief. Kaoru's heart beat faster as she saw his killer ruruoni smile once again.

Please sit Kaoru-dono. he offered her.

Kaoru sat down very quickly. A few moments after, she was cursing herself silently because she doesn't have anything to say. She looked at Kenshin's cup.

What are you drinking? she asked.

This Kaoru-dono? Sake, of course. he answered.

Can I try it?

Kenshin did not know what to say. I don't think you should Kaoru. They serve a stronger type of sake here. You wouldn't even be able to

But before he could finish what he was explaining, Kaoru had already drank from his own cup. After tasting it, she wasn't able to hide the terrible expression on her face. She coughed so hard and blushed. Kenshin worriedly shoved Kaoru's back with his hands.

Kaoru embarrassingly looked at Kenshin If a while ago her curses weren't that bad, now its like reaching heaven. She was taken aback of the burning sensation that that thing' had brought to her throat.

What was that you're drinking? Don't you think maybe its already expired? she innocently asked Kenshin.

Kaoru did not expect Kenshin's laugh. He laughed and laughed until some people already began looking at them. Smilingly, but with a knot on the forehead, he looked at Kaoru. When his laugh faded, he continued his disbelieving stare at her.

You know Kaoru-dono? You surprise me in many ways. he said.

Seemingly insulted, she reacted. 

Kenshin only shook his head. Afterwards they heard beautiful music coming from a piano inside the house. Some stood up from their seats to dance. Soon afterwards, Kenshin stood up and offered a hand to Kaoru. She astonishingly looked at Kenshin. Again, a small smile began to play on his lips.

Could you give sessha the honor of dancing with you Kaoru-dono? he whispered to her softly.

Unknowingly, Kaoru gave her hand to him. She let him lead her into the dancing people. She trembled slightly when Kenshin pulled her body gently against his and placed his hand to her waist.

Kenshin gazed across her blue eyes and tenderly set her head on his shoulder. Kaoru felt herself somewhat being cradled with this. Softly. She closed her eyes and felt the warmth of the moment.

In the closeness of their bodies, Kaoru paid attention to Kenshin's own heartbeat. Its like every beat of his heart comes in sync with hers.

Oh how she wished that night would never end.


	3. Chapter Three

**This is a modern story but still focuses more on the era on which our heroes exist. I've changed some names, especially Kaoru's parents since I can't remember if the original animè/manga had mentioned one, and some of its original storyline. Read on! Please R&R!**

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

** __**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter III:

A smiling Kaoru watched the ceiling on top of her as she lied on bed. She recalled from her thoughts what happened that night.

Biting her lip, she said to herself, I wonder how it feels like to be kissed by Kenshin

She blushed at the thought of her idea.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

When she closed her eyes to sleep, there was a joyful smile painted on her lips. But not long after she had drifted off when suddenly her brows arched

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

__

_ She was running and trying to keep up with the train that carried off Kenshin. He was reaching out his arms to her. Kaoru ran faster and also tried to reach his grasp but the train went faster and faster until she can no longer catch up._

_ Far, far away the train went as smoke covered her sight of Kenshin still reaching out to her. The dark smoke filled the air around her_

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru was the only daughter of Iyasu and Yumemi Kamiya. Her father was a successor of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu and with his wife, they run a dojo in Tokyo even before Kaoru was born. Yumemi died giving birth to her and she was left in the care of her father.

Though a girl, Iyasu taught his child the ideals and principles of the Kamiya Kasshin sword technique even at a very early age; its life-purpose to preserve and protect life.

Despite being deprived of motherly care, Kaoru still grew up in a warm and loving household his father established. She came to learn the value of life in her young age. And it seemed that almost nothing could go wrong until one day, a plague ravished the town. Kaoru, at his father's command, was sent in the nearby town where it is safe. She came back in Tokyo only to find out that her father was not lucky enough to survive. Grief overtook her for she was finally alone

Her good-for-nothing relatives left her, upon knowing that her father was dead. Soon, the girl lived alone. Alone for she had no one to be with in the big dojo; alone for she had not even one brother or sister to take care of her; and alone, to have lost could-have-been wonderful and kind parents.

Until one day, she met a wandering swordsman in town by the name of Kenshin Himura. She accidentally met him as she came out looking for a certain hitokiri battousai' they called that almost tarnished the name of their respected Dojo. She was surprised at his claim that he was, actually the man she was looking for.

Kaoru looked at him in amazement. Amazed, not in the sense that she was in front of the a.k.a. the most deadliest man in Japan', but with his strange reserve. She looked at him more closely: his red locks being tossed by the blowing wind, and the extraordinary color of his eyes what does she sees? Purple? Gold? Or something in between? And his slender features who would EVER think that this IS the hitokiri battousai, if it weren't much for the X-shaped scar on his cheek?

She felt different. He was a total stranger. A complete ruruoni. But what can she do?

She gazed into those tired and longing eyes that must have triggered for her to offer him stay at the dojo.

And when he finally came in? Strange she felt all the more complete.

As time flew, Kaoru began to discover another feeling inside her for this man

_ He was kind_

_ He was thoughtful_

_ He is gentle_

_ What does she feel?_

_ Am I in love?_

_ It can't be_

But as how incidents have been happening around them; from Jin'eh, Shishio and finally Enishi it seemed they return each others feelings though not vocal. For Kenshin, everything was always for his Kaoru-dono'. Its his job to keep her safe. But he never said a word about his true feelings.

Kaoru, on the other hand felt impatient with this routine. And Kazue's wedding and Megumi's conviction came to tighten her determination to finally win his heart.

As years passed, she decided she would keep the dojo and run it by herself. By chance they also had met a pickpocket Myoujin Yahiko and a street fighter Sagara Sanosuke. Though they had strange acquaintances, she asked them to live with her in the Kamiya Dojo. After all, she was alone and needed some company.

Yahiko was a brat, as she would put it. And Sanosuke was born lazy—a frequent freeloader, she commented. But in general, they have kind and affectionate hearts. Soon after, she had came to love them. She treated them as her own kind. Now she felt complete

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru slipped out of her room for breakfast, only to find Yahiko and Sano already eating lunch.

Her morning was bad. She don't understand why something keeps on bothering her. She didn't quite remember her dream last night but what was definitely sure was that she was not feeling any good. With still lazy eyes, she had managed to greet the two.

Ohayou, Yahiko Sano she said as she slumped on a chair.

Ohayou Jou-chan! So, did you enjoy the party last night like we did? asked Sano.

Hai, Sano. I had a wonderful time, she replied joyously.

And what time did you went home? Did Kenshin waited for you? I bet you got drunk again, neh busu? Yahiko blurted.

She felt weak to whack Yahiko with her slipper. Instead, she looked at him warnfully. Shut up Yahiko okay?? I went home pretty late and Kenshin was with me. You know very well he wouldn't let me walk home alone, would you she explained. 

Speaking of him where is he? She looked at her left and right.

Yahiko grinned at her actions, Oi busu! Will you stop looking around for Kenshin like that?? He's at the market right now for your informationhe said he'll be back before you wake up.

Sano interrupted, The boy's right Jou-chan. I think you should be changing your style. You're acting like a small child, looking for Otou-san there. When will you EVER grow up???

Kaoru smiled as her mind was still stuck with Kenshin, 

Yahiko and Sano confusingly looked at each other with what she said.

Ey tanuki! Come out here!

Sanosuke almost jumped out from his seat as he heard the fox lady's soaring voice.

A few moments later, Kaoru was off the table and went out to see Megumi.

Tsk, tsk! Women!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

So, talk! Megumi excitingly asked. What happened between you and Kenshin? My, I was surprised to see you were dancing with him! Ohohoho!

Kaoru giggled as she started to tell what happened.

We just talked about many things after that. We sat again from where we came from.

And what did you talk about? Megumi insisted.

We talked about anything! About what his dreams, his life you know. His real age she answered.

And he's

Hmm, he's 28, she continued.

He does look old

What old? His age just suits him. And mind you, he doesn't look old, neh? Hey! I'm not finished yet! she irritatingly said.

Now where was I? Aaa he said he wants to help me get more money for the dojo. He and Sano will work in the port sometime she added.

Megumi thought for a moment. Kenshin working at the port? Hey, what do you mean? I don't doubt Tori-atama working there but Ken-san? With such puny body

Kaoru blushed. Mou! Of course not Megumi! What I mean is, he would like to serve as security for the sailing ships! There are a lot of bandits lurking along sea you know!

Megumi looked convinced. Aaa. I'm sure Ken-san would be doing his job well

Hmm, Kenshin also told me that he needs to have a physical check-up done as a requirement for the job so

Fox ears shot up from Megumi's head, 

I'm sending Kenshin to you. You'll be having him checked-up

Oho ho ho!! Megumi's smile widened with mischief. Are you sure about that tanuki?

Kaoru felt her eyes narrowed in anger but there was no other choice. H-hai. But DON'T DO ANYTHING FOOLISH, OKAYYY???

Megumi composed herself. Sure, sure! No problem. In fact, I'll tell him to open up to me about you 

The tanuki girl's eyes widened, A-are you sure you'll do that for me?

The doctor chuckled, Of course baka! What are friends for?

Kaoru out of the blue embraced the taller lady, Oh that would be great Megumi! Please do! Arigatou

Setting herself free from Kaoru's death hug', Yah, yah. Just lemme have him for just one night

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

The days came near for Kenshin and Sano's departure. The whole Kenshin-gumi decided to spend endless nights at the Akabeko or sometimes only at home for their well-wished safe journey. Sometimes they would all come home drunk and full from partying.

It continued for one whole week that they would celebrate almost every night. Kaoru tried to keep herself close to Kenshin. And may it be obvious to him, that he doesn't speak of it. Eventually, its been her and Kenshin that would closely talk with each other in the group. This made Kaoru very happy. She felt so close to him and him feeling the same with her.

When it would be time to go home, the boys would walk the girls home to their respective houses. Sano with Megumi, Yahiko with Tsubame and Kenshin with Kaoru. Not on one occasion had their neighbors had seen the same usual evening scenario. For almost a week, from their observation, they disapproved from the continual loud laughs and cackles that came from the group as they walk home. They sound like drunk people on the road. And that they said they were afraid for the children who overhears the words that are coming from Sano's horrifying mouth. 

Soon afterwards, the townspeople reported the incident to the officer Saitou Hajime. He coldly dismissed the people and told them that he will speak to the mistress of the dojo himself.

Kaoru was surprised to see Saitou as she was sweeping near the gate.

She managed to smile a little to the icy officer walking towards her. What can I do for you Saitou-san?

The Mibu Wolf puffed a smoke from his mouth before he looked sternly at her, I promise you wouldn't even think of smiling once I tell you what I came here for

Her brows arched. Sou da ne, Hajime-san? Then what do you came here for?

I would like to inform you that we may have to close this dojo soon he said coolly.

Kaoru's mouth fell open. Her knees trembling, she pretended to be brave. AND WHAT AUTHORITY DO YOU HAVE TO CLOSE MY FATHER'S DOJO???

Hajime smirked. Your father has been a well-known man of decency and righteous acts. He believes in living a modest, honorable and sensible life. That you must act upon, Kamiya-san

What do you mean? asked Kaoru, who did not understand—or rather was not willing to understand.

I believe you, as well as the other inhabitants of this dignified dojo, are not living up to the morals and principles of your late father.

You DARE question the morale and dignity of my father's dojo, Saitou-san?? Truly, this conduct of yours is infamous! said Kaoru, drawing herself up to her full height and looking at him with an almost threatening expression.

Saitou spat on the floor and unmoved by Kaoru's stare, he said. As officer of the law I have full right and duty to protect the welfare and well-being of this town, Kamiya-san. This dojo was not built to be a house of harlots screaming, giggling and screeching like nobody else cares. Pardon me for saying these things but the townspeople had spoken

The government's dog had served him well! I don't care about them all! I know to myself that I never did anything wrong to destroy the Kamiya family name!, she said in supreme disdain.

If that is so, then try to behave yourselves like proper people Kamiya-san. I would not want to come back here, because by the time I do again, its for the purpose of locking the dojo for keeps—not even battousai could stop me. Saitou made a deep bow then turned on his heels and walked away.

Kaoru was deeply stirred by the wolf's words. Surely these past few nights have been immensely happy for them, but she never thought that the irritating mouths of the neighbors would come that far, telling even the police!

She stepped back, became so pale that it seemed that she might be dying, and leaning against the broomstick to keep herself from falling, she took a deep breath. Tears of rage filled her eyes.

__

_ Have I really disgraced my father's name?_

_ Am I have no right to remain a Kamiya?_

Her blood began to rebel of the thought that she might have dishonored the dojo by their improper conduct these past nights. 

Her feet stepped to the direction of a room she perfectly knows how to go to.

She wanted someone to talk to, someone that could understand her someone who knows her

her tremulous and inaudible voice whispered.


	4. Chapter Four

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

** __**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter IV:

Kaoru decided to walk back inside the dojo. With a heavy heart, due to her encounter with Saitou Hajime, she thought of someone that she can turn to. And she immediately remembered Kenshin.

While walking from the outside towards his room, Kaoru felt the light drizzle on her shoulders. She put the broom beside a pail nearby. Rain suddenly began to fall.

Taking in a deep breath and before she changed her mind, Kaoru quickly knocked at Kenshin's door. A few seconds after, a very surprised Kenshin slid the shoji open.

, she said trying on a smile. Her heart beat went fast.

You need anything Kaoru-dono? I made breakfast a while ago said Kenshin defensively.

Aren't you going to let me in first? asked Kaoru. I'm beginning to feel cold here, you know.

, confusingly said Kenshin. Hai. Come in Kaoru-dono

Kaoru observed inside the small but cozy room of Kenshin. She turned and looked directly at his confused eyes.

Your room's nice, Kenshin, she said.

I'm still not quite sure why you are here Kaoru-dono. Gomen nasai, but I think this is not a good idea it's not nice for Yahiko or even Sano to see you in here Kenshin said while shaking his head.

Kaoru dropped her look on the floor. She felt stupid. What is she doing here anyway?

well, Officer Saitou came here a while ago, she started. She looked at the battousai. His brows were up, waiting for her next words. Kaoru sighed then licked her lips wet to try and speak again.

H-he said that I'm dishonoring my family because of the loud noise that are coming from here at night from us. And that he even dared he would close this dojo if this I mean we, continue doing that. That's why I'm here right now.

And why would he do something like that? Kenshin said impatiently.

I don't know. He even said not even you can stop him in doing so

and don't you know he also said that this was a place of harlots

and that my father would really be mad at me if ever he was still alive

Kenshin thought for a moment. Hai. I see we have been too loud these past few nights. Don't worry Kaoru-dono, we would just have to follow his orders. And I'm pretty sure after that he wouldn't be coming back here again he said coolly.

Kaoru was surprised by his calmness despite the things she had told him. Is THAT ALL you can say!?

Kenshin almost jumped from the corner he was at. 

Kaoru's eyes blazed in anger. Is THAT ALL you can say Kenshin!? Don't you know how humiliated I was? Don't you know how I hate myself right now with all of those things that wolf had told me?!!

Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono what I mean to say actually was that I he said coming closer to comfort her.

But before he could even touch her, Kaoru stood up fast, slid open the shoji and recklessly walked under the pouring rain back to her room across Kenshin's. She did not mind him trying to stop her.

After walking just a few steps away, Kaoru felt his tight grab at her shoulder. Rainwater was flowing through his face and his long red hair was dripping wet. He began to increase his voice against the strong wind blow and rain pour.

Kaoru-dono, onegai! Come back inside!, Kenshin yelled at her. 

I will not!, she strongly said.

Kenshin tried to pull her back inside again but they were both slipping.

Do you want to get sick Kaoru? What if anybody sees us here?, his patience is getting thinner.

I said NO! I thought you'd understand me! I thought you're going after Saitou because he insulted me!, she returned his yell.

You don't want, huh? threatened Kenshin. Without further explanation, he quickly carried Kaoru with one swoop of his arms back inside his room while she tried to free herself from his tight hold.

Kenshin put down the frantic lady inside and closed the shoji. He brushed away the water in his face. Kaoru glaringly cursed him inside her mind.

I honestly don't know what I ever did Kaoru-dono, for you to make me deserve this, he irritably whispered to himself. Afterwards he turned to her again.

Good thing I just finished folding your clean clothes Kaoru. She was surprised the —dono' was gone. I'm going to wait outside while you change. When the rain stops I'll prepare your bath then you can rest in your room.

Before she could even say anything, Kenshin looked sternly at her. No more arguments, Kaoru, please.

Kaoru silently obeyed all he had told her. A few moments later, she signaled Kenshin from the outside that she has dressed already , and he came in with a tray.

Shortly after, they were sipping hot tea, seating beside each other on his futon.

Kaoru was thinking of something to say to break the silence inside the room.

she began.

He lifted his brow as he looked at her. Not saying anything, he waited for the apology he knew he would surely hear from her.

Gomen, neh?, she continued. Its just nobody had ever told me things like Saitou did, and thinking from all the people here in Tokyo why must it be him?

But it still doesn't explain why you have to act like that, explained Kenshin. Kaoru, its natural for police officers—especially him—to say those things. And I probably bet he only said those things to give himself the pleasure of somehow distorting a beautiful face like yours, but I know he doesn't mean it.

Do you mean that? asked Kaoru.

Hai. And its true that keisatsu officers need to sound somewhat offending sometimes to

No, no. What I mean is, the part that you said that I-I'm beautiful, she embarrassingly said. Do you mean that?

Kenshin stared at her, smiling. She is really beautiful for him. If it only weren't for our age difference, he said to himself. He scolded himself with the idea.

he answered her question. You are very pretty Kaoru-dono. And don't ever let other people tell you otherwise even Saitou. That I would swear by my sakkabatou.

Kaoru blushingly smiled and chuckled lightly. She thought it was worth coming inside his room after all, just to hear him say that she was beautiful. And she felt somehow glad to finally hear the —dono' back again.

Silence took over them again. Kaoru stood up and peered out between the shojis. There, the rain has almost stopped, she said.

The cold wind suddenly breezed inside the room and Kaoru instantly felt the chill. She tightened the tie that bound her bathing robe and hugged herself. Kenshin saw everything.

Are you feeling cold Kaoru-dono? he asked.

Kaoru nodded. Kenshin stood up and was about to close the shoji again when she stopped him.

Don't close it completely. It'll be hot if you do, she said.

Kenshin only shrugged his shoulders.

The sat back on his futon again and finished their tea. Kaoru would sometimes glance discreetly at her seatmate, until he accidentally met her stare.

Kaoru did not mean and her mind does not understand, that in that moment, her eyes were looking at him in whole-hearted ardor. There was a trace of indescribable thirst her lips offer. And the hands she put on his own has a sensuous effect. Meaningful were her stares.

Seducing. Intoxicating. Magnetizing.

There were no words between. As the rain began to fall once again, almost same as their reactions, the flow of passion swept them both off.

Outside, the rain that almost had stopped, slowly poured heavily. It did not stop from pouring on everything under its natural power that heeds no other law except its own.

Sparks of lightning that cut through the heavens wrecked the sky covered by dark clouds. Continuously. Repeatedly. Uninterruptedly.

In the middle of the heavy rain, a loud cry broke the stillness of the place. One door was opened, never to be closed again.

Together, as the sun slowly peeked from the clouds, the light of truth came on the mind of two souls that they indeed had become one

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru silently listened for the first words that would come out of Kenshin's mouth. She tried to feel his probable reaction. In herself, she did not know quite well what to initially feel. Be scared? Be happy? Does she have to get mad? 

Kenshin was sitting at the corner of his futon, thinking deeply and sighs almost every minute.

Kaoru-dono, forgive me, he whispered softly. I don't know what else to say. This shouldn't have happened. All the more I blame myself.

said Kaoru. I wanted it. I'm not even sorry for it.

Kenshin glared at her. He tried to hide the anger in his voice.

you don't understand. You're still too young, Kaoru-dono.

What do you mean? There was fear in her voice.

The ex-hitokiri came close and held her hands. He looked at her intently without even batting an eye.

You just have to put this behind you. I can't even marry you. Sessha will just ruin your life.

You don't have to marry me right now we could hide it from the others in the meantime. When I get a little older, we then could

kaoru onegai, listen to me, interrupted Kenshin. He looked at her directly again.

It was a mistake, don't you know? Its wrong. What happened was wrong. It can't be corrected no matter what we say or do.

He stood up and walked across the room while Kaoru followed his movements with her eyes. He turned to her again.

I-I can't stay here at the Dojo anymore, Kaoru-dono. After what Saitou had said, I think I have no right to live here longer. Because of me, your family honor has been risked. I may have to leave

She was not interested with what he was saying anymore. Kaoru got up and sped fast out of his room.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tears were flowing down her eyes. She almost didn't believe what she had heard. He has had her and all and now he has the guts to tell her that he was leaving? She remembered her good parents.

Her sobs went louder. Her chest and shoulders shook with her cries. Its like her tears were racing down her cheeks.

But she also quickly wiped it off. She breathed hard. Tried to clear her blurry mind.

She was already in her room when she heard Kenshin calling from outside her room.

Kaoru-do—K-kaoru, onegai, let's talk about this, he pleaded.

What else for? Nothing will change, neh? Kaoru bitterly screamed back. Don't worry Kenshin, I will not bother you anymore. No one will know. I will forget you soon.

She felt him standing still in front of the door. Then she heard his footsteps slowly walking away.

Kaoru never cried so hard all her life like that night.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

For many days Kaoru never left her room. It was easy for her to tell a tall-tale to Yahiko and Sano to explain her acts. She pretended to be sick and wanted to be alone frequently. The two just shrugged their shoulders and said nothing.

Kenshin tried many times to approach her but she did not want to talk. Megumi, who had insisted to look at Kaoru's condition, observed the awkwardness behavior of the two, and guessed right away that something wrong might have happened between them.

After spending another week in her room, Kaoru finally thought to herself that she really would have to talk with Kenshin now. Maybe they're just both confused at that time that's why their first talk did not came out fine.

She decided to go to his room. She was almost about to knock when she heard voices talking. She recognized Megumi's voice inside.

Are you sure about this Ken-san?

H-hai, Megumi-dono... I know I should have told you this earlier but I was afraid you might just ignore the feelings of this unworthy one

aishiteru. Very much. And I have made up my mind now. Will you be my wife?

Oh Kenshin! You're so sweet Megumi answered.

Kaoru felt a lump in her chest. She could hardly breathe.

She stepped back quickly, not wanting to hear more of their treachery. That foxy bitch, I should've known And you Kenshin? Finally found the girl your age', neh? Her feet took her back to her room.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

Kaoru waited after Kenshin had gone to the market before she went out and talked to Sano and Yahiko.

Yahiko I'm leaving for Kyoto tomorrow.

Kyoto? Why so sudden busu? Yahiko asked surprisingly. First, you isolated yourself from everybody. Second, you've been acting so strange lately especially to the fox and even Kenshin. And now you're planning a surprise attack at the Aoiya?

I think the boy's right, Jou-chan. What's happening to you? Did you and Kenshin had some kind of a lover's quarrel'? Sano grinned at her with mischief.

Kaoru's eyes narrowed in anger. N-no. We did not fight. Its just that I've finally realized that he really was not worthy of me after all, and I don't want to do with anything that has him in it she paused. But hey, could you do me a favor?

The two were dumbfounded by her words. She sure was acting weird. A-anything Jou-chan

Don't EVER tell anyone where I'm going, okay? If anybody asks you tell them I just left and told you nothing especially HIM. 

Though seemingly confused, Yahiko and Sanosuke only nodded. anything you say

Kaoru managed to smile. She leaned over them both and hugged them tight. She did not trusted her voice to speak. The two were all the more surprised. 

Before, she would not bother to thank them openly, but now, after everything she has been through, she felt ashamed in front of them.

_If they only knew. If they only knew how I blew up their trust in me_She said to herself with a heavy heart.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When she arrived at the Aoiya that day, Okina, Misao and the other Oniwabanshuus happily welcomed her. When they asked about Kenshin, she fell silent. The two halfly understood that something must have happened and that they did not mentioned to Kaoru anymore.

A few days later, Kaoru received a letter from Sanosuke telling that Kenshin had suddenly left the dojo. He left a letter of heartfelt thanks and gratitude to all of them especially Kaoru-dono'.

_ So he finally left good riddance!_

She replied to Sano's letter and told him she would be home in a few more days. And that she told him and Yahiko not to bother to look out for Kenshin anymore because she told them, he's probably happy now with his life'

Kaoru tried to be strong and decided to be firm with her decision to forget Kenshin totally. Every night before going to bed, there's one thing she would say to herself.

_ Everything's finished between the two of us. I will just forget about it. I will just forget about him. I'm going to begin my new life again, like the way I did even before he came. And I will never ever make the same mistake again. I'm still young, am I not? There's still a lot of time for me_

But after she had returned to Tokyo months later accompanied by Misao, while trying to fight for herself to begin and face a new life without Kenshin, Kaoru found out that her problems are not yet finished. Its not easy to get away from the ghosts of the past that came to haunt her

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru was training with Yahiko that morning when she passed out in the middle of their sparring lesson. Sano was quick to call Megumi to look after Kaoru's condition. After several check-ups and examination, she called everyone in to have a talk before she would announce the result.

How old are you again, Kaoru?

Kaoru coldly replied.

Was it just today you felt dizzy like the way you did a while ago?

No. Actually it had occurred several times already.

When did you start getting nauseated?

I think it started after my travel from Kyoto.

Kaoru looked at the blameful face of Misao at one corner.

When was the last time you had your monthly period?

Kaoru blushed at Megumi's straight-forwardness. I don't know. I can't remember. I'm irregular, you know.

Megumi turned to face Yahiko, Sano and Misao.

So, what's wrong with her, fox?

The doctor insultingly looked at Sano, Nothing's wrong with her, baka! She's not sick. She's two-months pregnant.

Megumi still talked about many things. She kept on asking how she had gotten pregnant. Misao's jaw dropped at the news. Sano and Yahiko looked at each other. They think they know the answer.

Kaoru did not dare look at them.

Nevertheless, Megumi instructed them how to take care of Kaoru. Of what she must avoid to do, and what she should eat. The baby's in poor condition that's why care is of utmost importance.

But its as if Kaoru heard nothing. She sees the opening and closing of Megumi's mouth but it seems her voice was so far. She can't see clearly the shocked expression on Misao's face. Kaoru tasted something salty on her lips. Its just then she found out that she was actually crying. And it was also just then that she felt Misao's tight grip on her hand.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**I'm sure Kenshin acted really like a jerk but don't worry, it will all be worth it in the end. Please continue to review. Thank you for those who have been posting nice reviews, you're inspiring me so much! Ciao!**

**To be continued. Chapter V up next! **


	5. Chapter Five

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

** __**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter V:

Sanosuke was walking nervously from outside Dr. Genzai's operating room. Kaoru's screams were getting louder and louder by the second and its tingling in the spine. He felt like his feet were beginning to feel achy from walking to and fro the hallway for many hours now. Trying hard to calm himself, he sat down beside the teary-eyed Yahiko. But just a few seconds after, he stood up and began walking again.

Could you stop that, rooster?! You're getting me dizzy! Yahiko smirked.

Sano's brows arched. Oh yeah?? Then its good to let you be a replacement for Jou-chan inside!

Why you—!

Just as Yahiko had almost gnawed Sanosuke's head off, Misao yelled at them both.

CUT THAT OUT WILL YOU???

The two stopped instantly.

If you can't stay quiet for just one moment then why don't the two of you go home?!

Suddenly, the shoji door of the operating room slid open. Misao quickly recognized Megumi's familiar image.

The fox lady smiled wide at them.

Hey guys it's a boy.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

As Kaoru's eyes opened, she saw that there were flowers all around the room in the clinic she was in. At every corner were freshly picked flowers, filling the air of their sweet scent. She managed to smile despite her weak feeling.

How are you feeling Kaoru?, Misao happily greeted her.

Misao, this room looks like the flower shop at the market, Kaoru said to Misao laughingly.

Do you want to see your baby? Megumi took him to be cleaned. And he'll be brought to you a little later. said Misao.

The smile in Kaoru's lips slowly disappeared. She avoided her friend's gaze.

I don't want to see it, she said coldly.

Misao looked at her sharply.

What do you mean you don't want to see it?

That's all. I don't want to see it.

Kaoru-chan, don't blame the baby. How many times do I have to tell you that?

Misao heard no response from Kaoru. Shortly, she sat down by her side and held her hand.

If you're still not ready to see the baby, okay. Nobody's forcing you to. But you have to know, your baby needs youespecially now.

Kaoru questioningly looked at Misao. Her brows met from what she heard.

The baby's not that strong, Kaoru. He's still being observed by Dr. Genzai and Megumi-san. His lungs are deformed and he's having a hard time breathing, Misao explained.

She paused for a while. She waited for Kaoru's reaction. When she heard nothing, she decided to continue.

Kaoru, I know this is not easy for you to accept. But please do remember that this was not given to you by Kami-sama for no reason. If you think of the baby as just one mistake, well there was a much worse mistake you did, on which he just came out from,

But now that you have already come this far, why are you backing off? He's your son, Kaoru. And no matter what happens from this day on, nothing will change the fact that he IS your child, 

Accept that fact. It will be good for you, for your son and for all of us.

Misao didn't remove her eyes away from Kaoru's face. She looked for any sign of concern or compassion in her stiff image. Or any sign of understanding that might take effect on her with everything she had said.

But Kaoru remained quiet. She stayed cold and distant.

Misao sighed as she got up. There was sadness in her eyes when she looked back at her friend. She leaned over and patted her hand.

I'll leave you now. Take a rest.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru tried to bring back her normal routine after she gave birth to her child. And because she did not want to breastfeed the baby, she decided to continue attending to her sword fighting classes with Yahiko and the other students. She did not want to waste any time.

Misao continued to convince Kaoru that her child needs her but she was blind and deaf to her friend's plea.

Yahiko, Sano and Misao take turns taking care of Kenji, the name they thought would fit the child. But Dr. Genzai's words were final: the child has a sunken or funnel chest which causes its irregularity in breathing. The only remedy to cure this congenital defect is an operation. He instructed the three that he would operate on the child once they had thought its body is stable enough to undergo such process.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

One afternoon, after a tiring sparring session with Yahiko, Kaoru was resting at the porch when Tae came running to her suddenly. She was asked by Misao to look after Kenji in the meantime she is in Kyoto.

What's the problem Tae-chan? she asked Tae as she saw the worry on her face.

Its Kenji, Kaoru. We have to take him to the clinic right now. He can't breathe.

N-nani? Ano, had not Misao came back yet? she anxiously asked. She got used to Misao always being there for her. There to remove her of her responsibilities with Kenji.

Iie, she's not home yet, Tae regretfully replied.

H-hai. Please get Kenji, Tae. I'll have Yahiko run to Dr. Genzai's clinic so they could prepare the things they need ahead of us, she quickly said. Her heart was pounding hard. She suddenly felt scared.

After sending Yahiko before them, she helped Tae fix Kenji's things before speeding up to the clinic. On the way while running, Kaoru would glance discreetly at her son from time to time, who was being carried by Tae. His cheeks were very pale, his lips almost blue. In the rise and fall of his small chest, Kaoru felt his trying hard to breathe.

She had also observed how Tae caressed the small body of the child. Of the way she stops the soft but noisy cry of her son.

_Of my son,_ she told herself. _He is my son. It is me who should be carrying him. It is me who should be caressing him_

She felt a sharp pain piercing her heart. What was this she was feeling? Envy? Annoyance? Anger? For whom? For Tae or for herself?

Kaoru shook her head as if getting rid of her bad visions. She looked at the baby once more and said a quiet prayer.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

After many hours of their stay at the clinic while Kenji was given first aid treatment, Megumi told them that the boy is already out of danger and that they could bring him home any time they like. He had only caught a cold that clogged his chest which worsened his situation.

Kaoru can't explain the relief she felt with what Megumi had said. While she was waiting, its as if she had felt a cold hand covered her whole body. She suddenly woke up to the truth that her own son was in danger.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

Kaoru carefully slid the shoji behind her and tiptoeing, she came close to the crib at the center of the room. Tae was sound sleeping at one corner.

_Her son. Like what Misao had said, nothing could ever change that fact. Nobody. No matter what might happen._

She soothingly brushed one of her fingers in his face. Her eyes were glistening because of the tears that were stuck in them while watching the piteous form of the child.

There was a slight deformity of his chest and shoulder. Nevertheless, in his angelic looks, no one would deny of his natural beauty.

I will not leave you again, my son, she whispered to the sleeping baby. I was a big fool for not accepting you as a blessing from Kami-sama

You're not a mistake. And I don't also consider as a mistake the way you have been brought to me. I will try to make you feel the care and love of a mother that I deprived you with ever since the day you were born. That I promise you, Kenji.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few days after, Misao came back from Kyoto and she was astounded with what she saw.

In the porch, Kenji was in one of Kaoru's arms while the other held his milk. Because of Kenji's bouncy attitude, Kaoru never got to put the milk in his mouth right. But after a few more tries, she soon succeeded.

Misao watched them for a time because for her, its one beautiful sight to behold.

A smile appeared on her lips. The tiredness in her face seemed to fade.

She came in to a one happy home indeed.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**There you go! Chapter V. I hope you like it. Post me your feedbacks kei? I'd be delighted to hear from you. THANKS! More to go! **


	6. Chapter Six

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter VI:

Kamiya-sensei, Himura-san of the Himura Training School wishes to speak with you. Shall I let him in?, asked her assistant Kakuya.

Hai Kakuya-dono. Let him in. Arigatou, replied Kaoru after a few moment of thinking.

She lifted her gaze as Kakuya led him inside her receiving office. If given any other choice, she would not want to talk with Kenshin. However, she cannot do anything. He was an important client of their dojo.

Her other group meetings with him were normal. Aside from his uncomfortable stares at her that lasted as long as the meeting went on, nothing else alarming happened.

Ohayou, Kaoru-dono.

Putting up a usual smile she greeted back. Hai, Himura-san. Is there anything I could do for you?

Kaoru heard a soft laugh from her visitor. She clenched her fists at her sides and made sure that the fake smile on her face was not at all affected. She waited for his next move.

There's no need for you to sound so stiff and formal.

I take it you didn't mean for this to be a business meeting.

Hai, this is not a business meeting indeed. I was hoping I could take you out for lunch if you're available, de gozaru.

Sumanu, I can't. Arigatou.

If I give you business as a reason for you to come out with me, are you willing to accept?

You're a client, Mr. Himura.

I'll take that as a yes. Okay then, I have something that I would like to discuss with you over lunch.

We can talk about it here in my office

If you don't like lunch, we could have dinner. Hai, I think dinner would be better. What time shall I pick you up?

I don't remember I said yes.

I'm a client Ms. Kamiya. I'll pick you up here at 7 in the evening okay?, Kenshin said turning on his heels.

Wait Mr. Himura Kenshin, matte

But before he completely closed the door, Kenshin peered inside her office again. And I don't expect you to be in your training gi, de gozaru. Sayonara. And he was gone.

Kaoru stared long at the closed shoji before she shook her head. A small sigh came out of her mouth. She picked up a small bell to call Kakuya again.

You called, Kamiya-sensei

H-hai. Please cancel my appointment with Mr. Inugami at 5 p.m. I have a dinner meeting tonight.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru informed Yahiko about her meeting with Kenshin that evening. Its really like he didn't recognize him, maybe because Kenshin had cut his hair short now, he dresses up much differently from the Kenshin he met and the X-shaped scar was almost invisible now.

It was natural in her job business meetings like this of all sorts, and that's why Yahiko did not ask more.

At exactly 7 o'clock Kenshin was already at the dojo gates fetching her by his own carriage. But Kaoru expected this all along. She insisted to use her own carriage and driver. Kenshin was not able to anything since indeed it was just going to be a formal business dinner', according to Kaoru.

He led the way and stopped at a posh restaurant down town. This time, Kenshin persisted that they walk together as they enter. Kaoru only shrugged her shoulders.

After ordering, Kenshin laid his hands on the table and stared at Kaoru without blinking an eye. Kaoru unmindingly listened to the soft piano music playing at the corner of the restaurant. A few moments earlier, while they walk inside together, she really doesn't seem interested to talk to him and she did not, except for some of his questions that she needed to answer.

How are you, Kaoru?, he suddenly asked.

She looked at him sternly.

Why do you ask just now? We've been meeting each other for almost a week

I had no chance to do so. And I thought you wouldn't want Yahiko to remember me, as I can see he doesn't recognize me.

She turned her attention to the pianist again.

We're here because you told me that there's something important that we have to talk about, about the graduate students of your school having their formal teaching training with ours. There's really no need for you to make trite conversation.

Kenshin pulled out a deep sigh. Kaoru looked at him and felt that she wanted to take back what she had said when she saw the hurt in his eyes. Nevertheless, she remained stiff.

Haven't you forgiven me already?, he softly asked.

Forgiven you? For what?, there was bitterness in Kaoru's voice. If you're talking about that thing that had happened to us almost ten years ago that was over, Kenshin. I've forgotten about it already.

Then why so you treat me like this? Doushite de gozaru ka? Why are you so cold?

You're a client of my dojo. There's no way I could ever treat you terribly, nor don't mind you or even turn you down as one important client. What kind of treatment do you still ask for?

I don't know Kaoru. I also don't know. But the only thing I know now is that you're not the same Kaoru I've met before.

I think you're getting confused, Kenshin. I'm not anymore the 17 year-old Kamiya Kaoru you've met that had fallen head-over-heels in love with a sore loser. You're not different from this country, are you? I'm here to know what do you want to happen with those ten graduates of your school inside mine. And it starts and ends there. Occasional lunches and dinners are part and parcel of the job, that's all.

Kenshin only shook his head from what he had heard. He thought that this is not yet the right time to win Kaoru's heart again. He will wait for the right time and do everything. The only thing he knows is that in his heart, he needs to correct what he had believed to be the biggest mistake of his past, next to his being the hitokiri battousai.

For the time remaining that night, Kenshin did not open any other topic except business matters. Kaoru might have to know some information so that she could make his students feel at home inside the Kamiya Dojo while training to be good sword masters in the future.

As hours passed, Kenshin observed that Kaoru has been slowly letting down her defenses. When he took her back to the dojo, again in separate carriages, she rewarded him with a faint smile.

_That smile is okay for me,_ he said to himself while he watched her close the gates. _A smile is okay for me_

_ for now._

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Kaoru arrived at her office before she head to her daily rounds at the dojo, she saw a big bouquet of white roses on top of her table. She took the small card there and read the small message that was written:

__

_ Ohayou gozaimasu. Kenshin Himura._

Kaoru assessed the feeling she felt with Kenshin's surprise. She tried not to feel happy about it but she felt herself smiling. About to reach for her shinai to finally get going when Kakuya came in and told her that Kenshin was at the dojo gate.

She went to the dojo entrance still wearing her training hakama when she saw Kenshin with his own assistant.

Ohayou Kaoru, he greeted.

Ohayou Himura-san. You're kindda early.

Aaa. I was just going to ask you if you got what I sent you.

Hai. Arigatou. You shouldn't have bothered.

Its not a bother for me, de gozaru yo.

Silence came in between them. Kenshin decided to speak.

I hope you like white roses. I just guessed what you'd probably like.

Kaoru thought deeply. In fact, white was her favorite color of roses. But she doesn't wasn't Kenshin to feel like triumphant.

White is fine. I see you had given your assistant a very hard time looking for them because you know too well they're rare here in Japan. But all of them are the same. The color would hardly matter when the flower is all dried up and withered.

She heard him try and hide the sigh that escaped from his lips. She blamed her sharp tongue for saying things like that but she refrained herself from doing it. The pain her mouth had given him was no match for what she had went through. She waited for him to speak.

H-hai, Kaoru. I know you must be busy. Gomen nasai for disturbing you. Sayonara.

she said turning away, not even smiling.

Kaoru went straight to the dojo and made the rounds she was supposed to have made in the first place. And coming back to her office, Kakuya told her that Mr. Tahada was in her receiving room waiting for her. Work was continuous for her that day so she did not had any time to think about Kenshin Himura and his future role in her present life. 

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Saturday morning when Kaoru told Yahiko that she will meet Sanosuke that night.

Oh yeah. He went to my house just the other night. I told him you still live here at the dojo that's why he probably visited you. He looks fine, isn't he?

Hai. He still looks fine after five years of traveling alone.

Time surely flies fast, neh? Send my regards to the rooster, and tell him I'd love to continue our sake session in my house.

Sure. I'll tell him.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**There. I hope you like it. Please review. Thanks for all your posts! Please continue!**

s


	7. Chapter Seven

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter VII:

I thought you wouldn't come, was Sanosuke's greeting to Kaoru she met him at an expensive restaurant.

Could I ever do that to you?, she answered while sitting at a table Sano reserved for them.

You look beautiful, Jou-chan, he impressingly said.

I know what you've been waiting for me to say. You look as dashing as ever, Sagara, she said smiling.

Of course. As always. Does it always have to be you who must be praised, huh, Jou-chan? I think you should learn to compliment others too, grinned Sano. Wait, why didn't you want me to fetch you from the dojo anyway?

Nan demo nai its just that I thought it would be convenient for us to be in separate carriages.

The ever-practical Kamiya Kaoru, Sano shook his head. So, how are you?

Later with the questions, onegai. Let's order. I'm starving! she said.

I already ordered for us. Just a while ago.

Mou! Chauvinist! she jokingly blurted.

Sano only winked at her.

So, you haven't given up your dreams for the Dojo, neh? And I see its growing really big!

Hai. And I'm happy because of it. Mine and Yahiko's work really paid off very well. And the enrollees are coming in big numbers next year.

He nodded his head in response. Then turned his attention to her left hand. 

I take it, you're still not married?

he asked. I'm sure you never lacked suitors.

And you? Why are you still single? Kaoru asked back.

I don't have suitors, he answered.

Could you be a little serious, Sano? she said feeling slightly irritated.

But I'm serious. You're not getting younger, Jou-chan. Don't you have plans on getting married?

Modernization is eating up Japan alive, and I guess I can live on being single. 

Is that the reason or you're just scared?

Scared from what?

You know very well what I'm talking about.

Kaoru avoided Sano's eyes.

That's over, Kaoru. Up to when will you still wallow over a thing that's already a part of the past?

When I agreed to meet you, I thought we were going to talk about good times. Seems the rooster has gone to be a priest, neh? You still go with your sermons, Kaoru said with a hurting voice.

Sanosuke sighed. Afterwards, Kaoru spoke again.

Anyway, you're wrong. Its not over yet. He's here, Sano. Kenshin is here in Tokyo. And he's a client of my dojo. I can't avoid not to meet him over business meetings. I just know he's up to no good. Why? Just yesterday he sent me roses and

Look at you, you're blabbering! Is that really what Kenshin does to you like as if you've met a movie star? he said angrily.

Kaoru suddenly felt embarrassed about herself. She shook her head. Sano saw what Kaoru did and held her hands.

I just hate to see you all worked for nothing. And so what if he's your client? Treat him as one, that's it!

You know him, Sano. Its not that easy.

Sano stared at Kaoru. He studied the emotions playing on her face.

Tell me, Jou-chan. Do you still love him?

she replied. She responded so soon to his question. Too soon, Sano thought.

He stared at her long before he spoke again.

Then you have nothing to be afraid of. If you do not love him, he can't hurt you, he said seriously. But if you suddenly feel like you need me, Jou-chan, you know I'll be there for you.

Arigatou gozaimasu, Sano. I know you're really a friend.

Sano only smiled at her. In his heart was not but a small pain. But he tries to shrug it off.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru came late in her office in the dojo the next day. Hers and Sano's conversation really went too far up to the morning.

She know too well in herself that she is indeed lucky to have a friend like Sano. And that she'll miss him when the time comes that he has to go back to France to continue his travel.

Ohayou, Kamiya-sensei, greeted Kakuya.

Ohayou, Kakuya-dono. You look happy today, she greeted back to her assistant.

I think its you who is happy, Kamiya-san, she answered. Whomever sends you those flowers must really love you very much.

Kaoru confusingly slid the shoji of her office. She decided not to react with what Kakuya had said. It was then that she found out what she had probably meant when she saw dozens and dozens of roses inside. They were in different colors. There's red, white, yellow and pink

Kaoru slowly closed the shoji behind her. She walked towards the table and got the card within the white ones. She carefully read what's written in it.

__

_ I wish you could see the beauty of these roses before they soon wilt. –Kenshin.'_

She became confused all the more. _Is he trying to insult me? Kenshin no baka! My office looks like a flower shop with all these!_

But no matter how she prevented herself, she felt a slight joy in his perseverance to somehow make her happy. And she asked herself. Is that his purpose in the first place?

A knock on the door was heard.

Kamiya-sensei, Himura-san wants to speak to you.

N-nani? Aaa. Wait She thought for a second. Tell him to wait in the receiving room.

Hai, Kamiya-san.

Kaoru wasted no time fixing herself. She fixed her ponytail and applied thin powder on her face. When done, she stood up and walked to the room adjacent to hers.

A Kenshin in a white training hakama and blue gi came in front of her. Kaoru was startled upon seeing him like that and almost forgot the cold greeting she was mentally practicing a while ago.

Why are you dressed like that?

Kenshin gazed down at his clothes.

Sumanu, neh? I was about to have a sparring session at the Nihendai dojo with a friend but he backed out that's why I thought I could invite you

Are you kidding? Its too hot inside, you want me to spar with you? Sumimasen, its office hours, in case you've forgotten.

Kenshin only shrugged his shoulders.

We can always talk about business while sparring.

I see you got the roses.

Obviously. But I don't have any plans of putting up a flower shop nor a funeral parlor here, neh?

Neh, nani? he asked tauntingly.

Before she could say anything, they heard a continuous knock at the door. Yahiko came in straightly after.

Oops, gomen. I see you have a visitor, Yahiko said. When he recognized Kenshin, he came closer to him. "Oi Himura-san. Its you. Do we have a meeting today? Why are you dressed like that?

Gomen, Myoujin-san, he began.

Onegai, I've told you already. Call me Yahiko.

Yahiko-san, gomen neh? I was just inviting Kaoru here to spar, but I guess she doesn't like.

Why don't you go spar with him, Kaoru? So you can practice your skills. Aaa, its been a long time since I've sparred with my sensei. Yahiko told Kaoru. Before she could say something, he turned to Kenshin again.

You know, Himura-san I've been very busy with the students lately and that I haven't got time to practice with Kaoru. And much more her, since I don't like her teaching Kamiya Kasshin manually now. I wanted her to sit back and enjoy a little.

Turning to Kaoru again, Right, sensei? Go with Kenshin. You can talk about the meeting with his students we've been discussing while you're at it.

Kaoru couldn't say anything more. She hesitantly stood up.

I have to go to my apartments and change. Let's just meet at the Nihendai dojo, she coldly said to Kenshin.

I think I should go with you so you might not have to use your carriage. I'll take you home afterwards, Kenshin said.

Iie. I can she started to talk.

Hai. I think that's a good idea, Kaoru. So you wouldn't be in different carriages anymore. You can discuss things more easily that way, Yahiko interrupted.

Kaoru bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything more. Mou! If you only know, Yahiko-CHAN! She whispered to herself.

She went out of the room first. She heard Yahiko's voice from behind her, noticing the flowers just then from her private office.

Kaoru, where are all these flowers from? They're beautiful!

From the devil, she murmured.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

As they came to her apartment at the back of the dojo, Kenshin seemed to be observing the place.

So, a big part of the dojo has really changed, neh?

I don't need your comments. My place looks fine to me. she blatantly said.

Kenshin decided to keep his observation to his self after. When they came inside, Kaoru can't avoid not to invite him inside. She led him to the wide living room where colorful mattresses from different countries Sano gave her, lay for him to sit at.

Take a seat, she said before he could sit down. Would you like to have anything? Tea, for example?

Cold water would be fine, arigatou de gozaru, Kenshin answered.

After she had given him the water, she excused herself so she can change. Kenshin was left alone still standing and looking around the wide room.

A few moments later, Kaoru came back, now in her training gi and hakama. She had in her left hand a small bag containing her shinai and other things.

She was surprised not to see Kenshin where she had left him. Her heart skipped a beat.

She straightly went inside a concealed room near behind a Chinese divider. There she saw him looking intently at a big oil painting of a little boy that looks like that had just learned how to walk.

The child was in a white hakama like Kenshin's combined with a purple gi. The portrait was painted beautifully. The joy in the boy's face was clearly visible. 

At every corner of the room were toys of different kind. There were many toys from Western and Asian countries arrayed at one side. Others looked like it was never used.

There were sketches at the table. Kenshin was about to get near when he heard Kaoru's voice.

What are you doing here?

Kenshin almost jumped from the low but hard voice from her. He quickly asked sorry.

Sumanu, Kaoru. The door was open. I saw the big painting so I decided to come in and take a closer look.

Kaoru did not spoke. Did she really forgot to close the door after she had visited it that morning?

She couldn't remember.

She opened the shoji wide, signaling that she wanted him out of there. Kenshin went out quietly. Kaoru looked at the portrait before closing the room again. She felt something piercing her heart but she did not mind it. This feeling was not new to her. She swallowed hard then spoke.

Let's go, that is, if you still have plans.

I was thinking, we should have lunch first before heading to the dojo. You might not like the food there, Kenshin told her.

If you insist, she said coldly.

Halfway as they reached the gates when Kenshin held her hand.

I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to enter that room. I don't know, there was something that tried to force me inside. Please believe me, Kaoru.

She just returned his stares and said nothing.

When they were in Kenshin's carriage, he cannot refrain himself from asking.

Who was he, Kaoru? Who was the child in the painting?

You really couldn't stop your self from asking, neh? she bitterly said. You're trying but still you can't. Maybe you're thinking, is he Kaoru's child'? I thought she didn't marry'?

Onegai, Kaoru. I don't think of that, he pleaded. If you don't like to answer my question, that's alright. No problem. That's your life.

Hai, you're right. This is my life. My life before, and my life now. You have no right to ask. You have no right to know.

If before you have every right to ask, forgive me, but the times have taken that right away from you now.

Doushite de gozaru ka?

Kaoru gazed long from the other direction. She thought if this is the right time, the right chance to relate him the events and get from this person enough grief for all the time that passed laid to waste and passed on meaningless. After a moment, she answered Kenshin's question.

You will not understand me now, Kenshin. Time will come, I'll explain it to you.

Kenshin thought of not forcing Kaoru to explain any more. He doesn't want to spoil their day any further. He wants to make Kaoru happy. If what kind of sadness that the portrait that he had seen had brought them, he doesn't know but he managed to let himself wait. Or maybe it would be better that that sadness remain inside that room.

As much as possible.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

Chapter VII finished! Thank you, thank you for the reviews. It kept me going. Please post more reviews if you wanted Kaoru and Kenshin to get together in the end or not. Thank you! Please R&R!!! Thanks! Ciao!!! 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter VIII:

Life went fast for Kaoru. The dojo became so busy because of the new enrollees coming in for the next year. Kenshin continues to send roses to her office everyday. And after trying his best to know what color she really likes in them, which is white, he never sent any color other than it anymore. Kaoru had got used to this habit of Kenshin. And when sometime the rose delivery got late, her eyes automatically look for them in her office.

She was about to go somewhere that afternoon when Yahiko came inside her room.

Douka shita no, Yahiko?

Kaoru, Hutano-san's assistant came to my office a while ago. He said his employer met an accident yesterday. He's at Dr. Genzai's clinic now. Will you do me a favor? Can you cover for me in the meantime? Visit him.

Then why don't you come with me? Kaoru asked.

I'm afraid I cannot. I have a meeting outside now. I can visit him only tomorrow.

You promised neh? she said. Hai, I'll go. No problem.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

In the clinic, as she was about to head for the room of Yahiko's friend, she accidentally came by a nursery. The curtains were shoved aside by the caretaker. There were few people looking on and Kaoru was not able to control herself not to do also.

Kaoru was glancing on the man at her side, waving happily to a baby being held by what she believe was a nurse. She was surprised when he talked to her.

That's my child. He's cute, right?

She slightly smiled. The man continued to speak.

My wife just gave birth yesterday. How about you? Is your baby here? But you don't like somebody who just gave birth, he added as he laughed. By the way, I'm Tanaka.

I'm Kaoru. She was just staring at a baby sleeping. I have a baby there, she said suddenly. She pointed to one. 

Really? You just gave birth? he disbelievingly said as he looked at her body.

H-hai. I had an easy time that's why I easily recovered, she lied. My son's so kawai, neh?

Aaa, they all are.

You know what? When I bore him, I thought I hated him. That was because I was so young then. And I felt, here is a child that needs my care, while I needed someone to take care of me also. It was so unfair, neh?

The man looked at her confused. He suddenly became worried with Kaoru's sudden sad expression.

Why don't you sit for the meantime, Kaoru-san? You look tired, he said while assisting her to sit in a chair at the clinic's hallway.

Kaoru was lost in her thoughts. After she had seated, she heard nothing of the man's story as he talked about his wife. She did not mind the people passing by. Her mind was completely in the memory of the same event that happened not so many years had gone

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It was midnight then, Kaoru woke up by Misao's complain. She rubbed her eyes after the light coming blinded her shortly from her lamp. It was long before she had focused her sight on Misao's distraught face. She nervously sat up by her friend's expression.

N-naze? Something happened to Kenji? she worriedly said.

Kaoru, I woke up to check him. He was almost blue when I came. After I had given him first aid, he breathed again but I think it would be better if we take him to the clinic now. His condition is not good. Misao told her.

Kaoru quickly stood up and went in the next room where Kenji lay. She held up her perspiring son. He can hardly breathe.

Wake up Sano and Yahiko, Misao. We're going to take him to the clinic right now, she commanded.

In a matter of seconds, the group was prepared to rush Kenji to Dr. Genzai's clinic.

While walking, Kaoru embraced his son tightly. She caresses her son's small body softly in her bosom.

Sano and Yahiko would occasionally glance at the mother's condition. They could see her lips pressed tightly. Her sighs continuous.

I don't know what to do if he dies Kaoru's voice was trembling.

Sshh, Kaoru. Don't speak like that, Yahiko hushed her.

Hai, Jou-chan. Kenji will be alright, you'll see

Kaoru bit her lip. She tried to swallow the bading tears. Fear is lurking from behind.

Shortly after, they arrived at the clinic. Dr. Genzai quickly treated Kenji and the other nurses inside a room. 

A few moments after, the doctor announced that Kenji was in bad condition. He was asking Kaoru her permission to let them operate on Kenji. Kaoru initially opposed to the idea.

An operation? He's just a year and four months. He cannot make an operation like that, she said bursting to tears.

Its true that it is dangerous to do it because he's still too young demo, sumanu, at this point, this is the only way to save him, Dr. Genzai explained.

Dr. Genzai, are you sure you can save my son? Kaoru added to ask.

I cannot promise you anything aside from the promise that we will do anything we can just to let him live, Kaoru.

Kaoru looked at Misao. Her eyes were pleading. Pleading to help her decide.

Let them do it, Kaoru, instead of letting him leave us without a fight, Misao said.

Kaoru gave them the permission.

While the doctor left to prepare the operating room, she was given a chance to see Kenji once more inside a room.

Kenji's image was heartbreaking to see because of the apparatuses connected to his small body. His uneven breathing was visibly hard. His eyes' sides were dark, framing his pale cheeks. There was no trace of vigor in his face. Only a picture of a child seriously ill.

The boy was naturally thin. Maybe because of his ailment. Or most probably, as Kaoru would sometimes think, because of his father's small frame. She could not deny the big resemblance of his son to his own father in physique. The amber eyes, smooth red hair, and mannerisms. But many believed that Kenji's lively aura came from her. He was easily amused like her easily get to laugh. He would only cry if he has problems breathing.

Now that he has been learning to walk, everybody in the dojo became so fond of him.

Kaoru fears every time a day would pass. She fears that death would just snatch her son from her. But on the other hand, she knows that in each passing of time, the day will come near on when Kenji would learn to look and ask for his father. He will ask where his father is. What is she going to tell him?

But now as she gaze upon his son as he lay in the clinic bed, she prays nothing more other than his safety. If time will come when she may need to lie or find a way not to make Kenji feel hurt as he asks about his father, she will do.

She slowly held her son's hand and squeezed it lightly. She couldn't stop her tears from running down her cheeks anymore.

Just live, my son if I have to beg for your father to accept you, I will. If ever I could not find him, then I'll find a much better father for you. Anywhere. Anyhow. The moment you step out of this clinic, I will complete you life now, I promise. Live, Kenji fight. For okaasan, onegai

Kaoru leaned over and gave his sleeping son the most loving kiss on his forehead. She dried her eyes. She tried to make herself strong. She did not left her son until Dr. Genzai came and told her the operating table was now ready.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Misao, Yahiko, Sano and Kaoru waited long outside the operating room. A nurse would try to tell them that they can sleep at a vacant room nearby, but Kaoru refused. Even the three refused. They want to be there for Kaoru for whatever that may happen.

A few hours later, maybe because of tiredness, Kaoru fell asleep on the bench she was sitting at. When she opened her eyes, Dr. Genzai was already beside her. His hair was full of sweat. Misao was holding her hands tightly now.

Just one look at the doctor's eyes, Kaoru knew what he was going to say. Kaoru shooked her head. She felt Misao gripping her hand more tightly.

Kaoru, my friend she started. But Kaoru didn't mind her. 

He's alive, isn't he? Kaoru asked Dr. Genzai. You told me you're going to save him, didn't you?

Gomen nasai Dr. Genzai sadly told her.

she interrupted. You're asking me for forgiveness? she cried. Kaoru laughed. A laugh without gladness; full of bitterness.

She stood up. Misao and Yahiko were stopping her, now both crying, but she was now frantic. 

A mixture of surprise and disbelief were in Kaoru's face from what she had heard, together with grief, anger and profound hurt. She suddenly felt weak.

She was almost whispering to the doctor, You let my child die. I trusted you. No matter how long, no matter what, anybody's apologies would not be enough 

Jou-chan, onegai. You have to be strong. You know that Dr. Genzai did everything they can, so let us not blame them. You can make this. We will make this. We will not let anything happen to you. Just give yourself time to let your wounds heal Sano told her.

Kaoru heard nothing. She stepped afterwards inside the room where her son's dead body lay.

Kaoru came closer to him. She held him in her hands, embraced and cradled him. She kissed him on his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, each finger of his dainty hands. In every caress of the still warm, but pale lips of Kenji, there was a wild longing inside Kaoru to make him live. She will make him live by her everlasting love. They will again share the joy and laughter they always had in the dojo, with Uncle Yahiko, Uncle Sano, Aunt Misao

But the boy remained quiet. His dark eyes kept shut. Its lifeless chest remained still.

Kaoru held her son long. Afterwards she let her tears fell from her eyes flow from overwhelming sorrow.

Outside the room, one could hear the loud and long cries of a mourning mother. Many who hear would stop and feel goosebumps all over their body.

Kaoru suddenly felt one concerned hand on her shoulder.

Kaoru

** Huhu! There you go. Two more chapters to finish. Please read and review. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**_Closed Doors_**

Chapter IX:

Kaoru said Tanaka. he anxiously asked while she quietly cried.

Kaoru only wailed her head. She brushed the tears off her cheeks. Her long and tormenting journey to the past was over.

She looked at Tanaka embarrassingly.

Gomen, Tanaka-san I just remembered something.

Can I help you?

Nan demo nai, she answered. She stared at the white curtains of the nursery. Nothing more.

Hai, Kaoru-chan. I think I should be going now. My wife must be wondering where I might be, he said bowing to her. Whatever problem you might have been having right now, I wish it ends soon. You look like you deserve a break from life.

Arigatou, Tanaka-san, she replied softly.

Kaoru managed to find Hutano-san's room shortly after she had finally composed herself. She told her Yahiko will visit him tomorrow. His face glowed at the news and joyously shared a story to her. Kaoru only listened quietly from her seat.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Are you ready for your trip to Narita this weekend? asked Misao.

Hai, Misao. I've already booked a train, chartered a boat, rented a house and ano, what else? Kaoru replied.

They're not building the new dojo that fast, neh? I think its unnecessary to bring along a big entourage, you know.

Aaa, that's true, Misao-chan. But Kenshin wanted to see the site for himself. Why must he ever come along? Doesn't he trust my judgment and that of the people of my dojo?

let him be, Kaoru-chan. His trying hard to win you again, can't you see? And he is paying for the whole trip anyway, remember?

Hai, hai. But sorry for him I'm not impressed, she said irritatingly. Oi I forgot Misao, Hutarou handed me a letter addressed from Kyoto yesterday. It's from Okina and Aoshi-san. They're inviting us over to have a vacation there. After this Narita trip, I would want us all to visit them, what do you think? I'm sure you've missed the Aoiya.

Yatta! REALLY? They would want us to come? Geez, Grammps really miss me that fast, neh? she stopped. I bet Aoshi-sama did not mention anything about me

Kaoru smiled at Misao and hugged her. Iie, Misao! That's why I'm giving you this she handed her a white envelop.

Misao's eyes grew wide at the sight of the letter. She flung to hug her friend and smilingly excused herself to read Aoshi's letter for her in her room.

Kaoru shook her head and smiled to herself as Misao speedingly left. 

She suddenly thought hard of the upcoming trip she and Kenshin will make.

__

_ This will be one hell ova trip for sure _

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The day came on which Kaoru and Kenshin would have to leave for the island near Narita. She decided to let Kakuya come with her for accompaniment. Along the trip, she made sure Kenshin had not got any chance to get near her.

The last few days of work in the dojo was not easy for Kaoru. In her frequent meetings and talks with him by chance, she slowly realizes that her past feelings for him did not die yet. Actually, its always been there—reminding her of the pain of losing their son and his proposal to that kitsune-musume.

She tried to shrug off her thoughts and feelings for Kenshin and tried to tell herself that this man brought so many problems and heartbreaking sorrow in her life. But her heart is such a fool

How can she ever hide from the love that never did die? If only she can bury her feelings along with Kenji

But love indeed work miracles. The feeling that planted on fertile ground did not wither despite the long and dry years. Maybe because it was watered by hope and prayers of a heart that remained faithful and true.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

They reached the island with no problem. They rode a wooden boat to reach it. All were tired by the trip. But the moment they saw the beauty of the place, their exhaust and fatigued were forgotten.

The waves splashed on the white rocks of the shore. One of Kenshin's men cried and kissed the white sand.

This is paradise! he cried.

All of them smiled. Shortly after, one of their crew sprung from behind.

Kamiya-san! Himura-san! cried the man. I think we have a problem. We left some equipment back in town! We can't measure the land to be built with the new dojo without it.

almost everybody exclaimed.

So what now? Don't tell me we're going back? asked a dismayed Kaoru.

Only two of the crew came along with Kenshin and Kaoru from Tokyo; his hired engineer and her assistant, Kakuya. The two others who also went with them were natives of the island. One boat operator and one island guide.

It was almost settled that the tour guide was to stay behind with them but the boat operator told them that he doesn't know the other nearby islands too well and he might get lost.

In the end, after Kaoru's long arguments and resistance, she and Kenshin were the ones to be left behind the island, while they wait for Kakuya and the others to come back with the equipment. The guide directed them to a small hut situated in a not so far away hill where they can stay.

Kakuya-chan, please come back—and FAST. Don't waste any time there in town, okay? strictly reminded by the worried Kaoru.

Hai, Kamiya-sensei! Kakuya cried back while jumping in the leaving boat.

Kaoru gazed at the boat until it disappeared from her sight. She was successful in avoiding Kenshin all the way from Tokyo to this deserted island, but it seems all her efforts were laid to waste now.

Kaoru sighed. She tried to calm herself in the thought that a just a few hours more and the others would be coming back already. Its still early anyway. The night is still far.

Do you want to find the hut now, Kaoru? asked Kenshin.

She suddenly turned to the one who had spoken to her. She barely nodded in response to the ex-hitokiri's question.

Kenshin offered his hand to her so that she will not have a hard time trekking the steep road. After a few seconds of uneasiness, Kaoru laid her beautiful hand on his open palm.

This is a different world. A different place. Far from the hurt and the usual worries of the complicated life. Why would she bring her anger against the blessed tranquil and beauty of this place?

Their stares met and they both smiled. In that moment, time brought them back in the world of their bonding before about ten years ago. Each felt light and serene.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few minutes after, they finally saw the small hut. They quickly went inside. Both were surprised in the darkness that met them. Kenshin lit the lamp he saw hanging from a corner.

Kaoru's brows met in the thickness of dust around her.

Everything looks messy, she told Kenshin.

He shrugged his shoulders.

Maybe our ancestors were the last people who were here, said Kenshin.

Kaoru laughed aloud. Kenshin looked at her, surprised.

Don't you know that ever since we've been together again these past days, its only now that I've heard you laugh? he commented, not taking off his stare at her.

Kaoru began to feel her face and neck warm. She tried to find something to tell back, and when she couldn't find any, she decided to stay quiet.

They managed to get back near the seashore afterwards to eat the food they brought along. They hastily finished their simple lunch. When done, Kenshin invited Kaoru to take a walk by the beach.

Both walked barefooted along the white sand of the coast. Nobody wanted to interrupt the deafening quietness that surrounds them.

Minutes shortly, Kenshin began to speak.

Kaoru turned to Kenshin. Her dark blue pools were somewhat questioning.

Can we talk?

She smiled. What do you think are we doing since hours ago?

what I mean is can we talk? About what happened to us before? 

Kaoru gazed at the horizon. She fixed her attention to the big waves coming from the middle of the sea, hurriedly running towards the rocky edge to break there.

she asked.

Kenshin paused for a while. He was almost about to say something when an unexplainable fear hugged him.

He pulled out a long sigh. Finding in his mind the questions left unanswered for a very long time.

Because we can never avoid what we can not forever, de gozaru na.

What do we still have to talk about? It was over, was it not?

Her stares became sharp so suddenly at him. Her brows arching, annoyance evident on her face.

H-hai. Let's talk about it. What do you want to know? What do you want to say?

I just want to know why you still haven't forgiven me yet.

Forgive you for what?

I'm not playing games with you, Kaoru. Onegai, that I'am not.

Who's playing the game anyway? You were the one who opened the topic, but now you can't even stand it. Why do you always mention forgiveness? Have you done anything wrong to me?

We both know what happened to us before. A thing that we know that shouldn't have been started but we were not able to avoid after all.

What do you want to hear from me, Kenshin Himura? You want to make me say that I do realize that what happened to us before was a mistake? Is that the thing you wanted to hear from me so you can finally have your peace of mind? Kaoru bitterly said back. She stopped walking to face him.

The sky began to grow dark. The bright sun suddenly hid at the back of the thick clouds. The waves grew bigger. Cold water played on both of their feet.

But they did not mind it. Kaoru continued to speak.

Gomen, Kenshin. But I can't feel sorry to what happened to us before.

She heard Kenshin's hard breathing. She saw a light of hope on his face. A pain in her chest made her pause. Its so easy to turn away from everything she had planned. Let all the hurt of the painful memories melt from the warm embrace of her beloved. But she couldn't brush away the feeling that cries and asks for revenge.

You know why? Because no matter how long it has been, I can never feel sorry for whatever that came out from it.

Thunder was heard from a distance. Lightning cut through the wide heavens. The heavy wind threatens a coming storm.

Kenshin's brow met. He did not look away from Kaoru's face.

Now ask me now who was the boy you saw in the painting, Kenshin. Ask me now, cried Kaoru. The wind carried her voice far away to the core of the broad sea.

Kenshin was shaking his head. He tried to put off in mind a vision that can't be succumbed by his understanding, but in his heart was already a truth Before Kaoru can manage to say the words. Before he could hear the truth from her own lips.

You don't believe? He's YOUR SON, Kenshin. The fruit of the mistake you want to make me say. But he's gone now. He's already dead. 

Kenshin began to step backwards. He continued to shake his head in disbelief. In his face was a picture of shock, of doubt and grief of somebody who lost.

I admit, when I learned I was pregnant, I hated him I despised you. But he was born sickly. Shortly, I found out that he needed me. A need that I never felt from you. I loved him. But fate is such cruel sometimes. It wasn't enough that it got you away from me. It also took Kenji.

I called at you at that time. In my heart, in my mind, I called you. Hurting may it seems but, I longed to grieve with the father of my child. It should only be, neh? It should only be because it should be us who has to mourn over his death.

Kenshin weakly sat on the sand. He put his seemingly heavy head between his hands.

Rain began to fall. Slowly. Gently. With that, he tasted in his lips the salty essence of his tears. He lifted his gaze. Kaoru was standing in front of him. Her clothes were also wet like his. Maybe she was also feeling cold. But she did not budge from her stiff stand. When Kenshin offered her his hand that seemed wanting to be condoled, Kaoru stared long at him, her true feelings not in her face.

Because the truth was that she wanted to embrace her beloved between her arms. She wanted to kiss him, caress him, love him but her mind's command was different, and that she helplessly obeyed.

She hardened her heart, her cold voice said, Now you know the feeling of someone who went through grief and misery alone. My mourning is finished. Now its your turn to grieve over him.

Kaoru walked away. She did not mind Kenshin's offered hand. She left him at the beach crying, under the hard rainfall, in the middle of the crashing waves near the shore.

Kenshin did not know. He did not see the bitter tears that was falling from Kaoru's eyes as her every step away from him was like a sharp dagger that pierces through her wounded heart.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

****

** Hope you like it! One chapter to go!! Thank you for the reviews, keep them coming!**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**_Closed Doors_**

**THE LAST PART**

Chapter X: 

So how was the trip? was Yahiko's greeting to her that morning.

Hai, we had a great time there. I will show you the blueprints the engineer gave me for the new dojo later, neh?

Aaa, demo you still look worn out. You did not get any good sleep? Yahiko saw the puffiness of her eyes.

Sou ka I'll be fine, don't worry.

He sighed. Kaoru, don't force yourself to work too much. The dojo's in good shape, neh? Actually you don't need to work anymore. And I think its high time for us to take that vacation in Kyoto.

That's exactly what I have in mind. Are we ready to travel next week?

Yahiko nodded. But he still worries about Kaoru's condition.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'am, Yahiko. I'm pretty sure. she said putting up a faint smile.

Oi, tori-atama came here yesterday. He's inviting us for lunch today. But I need to go with Tsubame so you'd be the one going with him.

Hai. I have many things to tell him.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

At the corner of the restaurant, Sano and Kaoru talked.

So, you finally told him.

What was his reaction?

Like what I've always prayed his reaction would be for years.

Did you get any satisfaction from it, Jou-chan?

She sadly wailed her head. 

Sighs.

A long pause.

You weren't able to talk again after that?

Hai. There was no chance. Kakuya and the others came after the rain stopped. Kenshin was still at the beach, sitting on the sand.

On the trip back home, you didn't talk?

Iie. I don't know what to tell him. And maybe he also feels the same.

What are you planning now?

Shrugs.

Eyes questioning.

I don't know, Sano. I waited for this to happen for such a long time. I prayed for it to happen. I waited to make him feel hurt. To see him cry. But I feel like I'm the one who's crying. Why is it like that?

Maybe because you still love him.

Sharp stare. Strong shake of head.

You can lie about anything, Jou-chan. You can lie to anyone. But you can never lie to yourself.

Bading tears. She tries to prevent them from falling. But then

What will I do, Sano? I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

I'll help you, Jou-chan.

I don't want to get hurt again. I'm so tired about it

Don't give up just yet.

I don't think I can still make it, Sano.

You've been through a lot, don't tell me you're giving up now?

He doesn't love me.

And what makes you say that?

He refused marrying me, and he proposed to that onna

Sano looked confused. 

I overheard them. I heard by my two ears that he asked her to marry him. And she did not turned down his offer

Sano remained quiet.

I was so hurt, Sano. I was so hurt that all I wanted to do was to get away from it all. That's why I left for Kyoto without telling him

and when you wrote to me, telling me that he already left, it broke my heart all the more. It just proved that he never DID love me how stupid of me

Sano leaned closer to her and embraced his crying friend.

Hush, hush now Jou-chan. What you're telling me are baseless accusations. Kenshin doesn't love foxy! It was evident he was in love with you! Everybody knows that!

She continued to cry in his arms.

Oi, Jou-chan I have a confession to make

Kaoru lifted up her gaze.

You see, well you told me and Yahiko not to tell anybody that you were going to Kyoto that day, right?

Her head seemed to burst.

But Yahiko thought you and Kenshin must've had some kind of a small misunderstanding that's why we

You both did what, Sano? Kaoru's voice was deep.

We told him where you went.

MOU! YOU TOLD HIM??

Kaoru's eyes were blazing with anger. Sano felt a lump in his throat.

But he forced us to! Believe me, Jou-chan. We just thought it would be best to tell him. But we thought he's going to fetch you there when he left. We didn't know he will not, actually.

Silence.

Listen to me, Jou-chan. Listen to me and listen good. He doesn't have any other reason to come back here in Tokyo. And from what we're seeing, he has changed a lot—from his hair, his lifestyle, everything. He was not the same ruruoni we have met before! And what do you think is the reason why he tried to attain all of what he has now? Do you remember our good-ol sessha' crap?

He did that for Megumi.

Kuso. Where is Megumi right now, anyway? If they indeed had married, we probably would have known in the first place!

His dojo is expanding. We just don't know, maybe he thinks he's needed more here.

Uso. Before he even came home, he knows what business he might engage with you that you will not even resist. Of all the things he can put up, why a school Jou-chan?

How did you learn all of these?

I just put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

I don't want to hope for anything

You need to believe first before everything comes true.

Why are you so kind to me, Sanosuke?

Because I love you. Words Sano prevented his own lips to say. 

Because we're friends, aren't we? You'd do the same thing for me.

Hai, mochiron.

Good. You eat now. Everything will be alright.

A smile. From the heart.

Ow, that's nothing. Just list them all okay? Time will come for payback.

They both know, Sano would never ever ask for it.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A worried Yahiko came inside her office the next day.

Doushita no, Yahiko? Kaoru fearing asked.

I hope not. Demo, Kenshin wants to meet us tonight for dinner. He said he's going to tell us something important. He's also with the other officers of their school. Do you know anything wrong that we did?

N-nani? Iie. Is he angry?

I don't think so. Its probably nothing, I guess. I'm just confused why all of the days he could meet us where I don't have any other meetings, too bad its now that he wants to do this. Well, anyway, we'll know later.

Kaoru only nodded. Questions were all over her mind. Did Kenshin got really angry with her and decided to take back all their compromises from her dojo? I hope not, Kaoru prayed. There's no connection between the affairs of the dojo and her personal life.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru almost choked silently from nervousness that night. Except from Kenshin's usual courtesy in greeting her, he did not take any chance to talk with her, not like what he seldom does.

After they have eaten, Kenshin opened the conversation.

Yahiko-san, Kaoru-dono, maybe you're wondering why we asked you to meet us all of a sudden, neh? You have nothing to worry about. So far, our students have been enjoying their stay at your dojo and I'm sure they will be outstanding sword masters in their own right if this continues.

Kaoru heard a sigh of relief from Yahiko beside her. But why is she still sensing fear? Kenshin continued to speak.

I have made a decision to go back to Yokohama soon. After all, I've been entrusting my dojo far too long with Takeyama-san, Shibasaki-san and Houshi-san, and he introduced his other companions. And I bet there will be no problems in running the dojo. It will go on as before. But now, we're going to employ the use of the best sword-training-mastery school for our students. And rest assured we're going to stick it out with the Kamiya Dojo.

Everyone smiled. There are other few more questions Yahiko had asked Kenshin and his men. Kaoru was deaf and blind to the conversation. After Kenshin had mentioned his going back to Yokohama, her mind somewhat shut close and that information stuck to her consciousness.

The meeting was over and Kaoru barely knew.

The only thing she remembered when Kenshin bowed before they separated was his words, I hope you can learn to forgive me, Kaoru-dono. Never had I wanted to hurt you.

Her throat was dry and her heart was aching. She did not manage to respond with what he had said until everybody said goodbye.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru rushed to the inn where Sano stays. Upon seeing him, she bursted into tears.

He's leaving, Sano. He's going back to Yokohama.

Have you talked to him already?

Iie. I don't want to insist myself on someone who doesn't like me. I don't want to be humiliated.

Sigh.

You're really someone, Jou-chan.

If he really loves me, then why is he leaving?

Pause.

What are we going to do now?

We're going to Kyoto tomorrow.

I thought it will still be next week?

I don't want to be here when he leaves, Sano. He had left me once.

And now, you're going ahead of him? Will that make you happy?

Maybe its my destiny to be miserable in life.

Kaoru no baka! See? That doesn't fit isn't it?

Mou! I've decided we all leave tomorrow.

Sigh. A sign of giving-up.

Dame da, Jou-chan. Demo, its time you learn to stand up by your own decisions.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next morning, after buying their train ticket, Kaoru with the rest of the ex-Kenshingumi left for Kyoto. Nobody stopped her. Not Yahiko. Not Sano. Not even Kenshin.

Though early as expected, Okina greeted them happily as they came. Misao, who went ahead of them, prepared a feast in welcoming back their friends at the Aoiya. Everybody was excited. Even the icy Aoshi seemed glad to see them all.

Kaoru shortly forgotten all the hurt she is feeling with the love of all the people around her. The people she calls her family'.

But as night came, when she was at the rooftop of the house to get some air, it was there she felt the avoided sadness. She did not realize that Aoshi was already behind her. She was startled when he spoke.

Do you have a problem, Kamiya-chan?

She felt uneasy but managed to smile. Iie, Shinomori-san.

You look contained. Everybody's having fun downstairs, and here you are.

She sighed. Believe me, Aoshi-san. Its nothing.

Does that explain why Himura-san is not here?

Kaoru looked directly at his eyes. What do you mean, Aoshi?

You see we haven't heard from him for such a very long time. And for ten long years, you haven't even bothered to come here. Misao was almost living in Tokyo now.

Kaoru didn't speak.

It would be best if you tell us everything, Kaoru-chan. From what we are seeing, everything seems different.

You regard us your friends, neh? But we can't help you if you hide things from us.

Kaoru sighed.

H-hai, Aoshi-san. I think I do owe all of you here an explanation with what has been going on now in Tokyo.

Long pause.

Hai, Kaoru-chan

Was does it take to be happy?

Aoshi looked intently at Kaoru gazing up at the night sky. He remembered a scene in the past, when Misao was still a little girl.

They were also at the rooftop, Misao was sitting on his lap. Looking up to the sky, she suddenly asked

Aoshi-sama, just how many exactly are the stars in heaven?

A simple question. But hard to answer.

He cannot remember quite well what he had answered in that question of the then-child Misao. All he know was that, she slept contentedly that night.

And now, he also don't know how to answer Kaoru's question. What indeed is the right path towards true happiness?

Kaoru led Aoshi to the others downstairs.

They all talked long that night.

After that emotional conversation, Kaoru slept peacefully that night. Like a sleep of an innocent child. She finally had it after long years of suffering.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next morning, Sano left the Aoiya and told the others he just forgot something back in Tokyo.

When evening came, he came in a restaurant, walking straightly at a table in a corner.

Konbanwa, Kenshin. 

Kenshin was surprised to see that Sano was the one who invited him to talk in that place. S-sano? Is that you? How are you?

Hai, its me. Cut the crap. So what now?

What do you mean what now', de gozaru?

Kuso, Kenshin! About Jou-chan, of course!

O-oro! What about her?

Kenshin no baka! As ever! Sano sound annoyed. As you well know, we left for the Aoiya

Kenshin's eyes danced amber. naze?

Because as frequent as not, she doesn't know what she REALLY need. You know too well that her pride soars high. And despite she feels hurt, she remains stiff.

I do not know if I would like to believe you, Sano.

Believe with what?

Believe with everything you're saying. Believe with the thing you said that she l-loves me.

Know what? You're really meant for each other. You're both hard-headed.

The reason why I've decided to go back to Yokohama was that it was way too impossible for her to love me again after all she has been through. I wasn't there when she needed me.

You had no way of knowing you had a child with her?

Hai. But to once who anguished and hurt too much, its almost unreasonable.

And you just give up just like that?

Like her, I was also hurt. I loved her before, you I mean EVERYBODY knows that. I was just too scared because she was too young back then and I'm unworthy of her. You know what I mean, Sano. But she left for Kyoto without even telling me. If it hadn't for you and Yahiko

You wouldn't propose to kitsune?

. N-NANI???

That was the reason Jou-chan fled to the Aoiya, baka! I didn't know something was going on between you and Megumi, neh

Kora! Me? Propose to Megumi-dono?

Naze? You mean you don't know' you proposed to her???

I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DID NOT!

Sano was dumbfounded.

But you see Jou-chan heard you offering marriage to kitsune

Kenshin's brow arched then thought for a moment. Yappari, Sano! Now I know why she left me

What she heard was right. That was a proposal.

Kenshin looked directly at the Rooster-head.

But that proposal was NOT meant for her. It was supposed to be for Kaoru-dono I mean for K-kaoru

Sano looked confused.

You see, I invited Megumi inside my room because I wanted my proposal to be a surprise for all. And since Megumi was the expert' in this field, I wanted to check if how Kaoru would probably react to my offer, so I proposed' in front of her. And she thought it was good

Sano's jaw dropped with what he heard.

but just when I was ready to tell her what I feel the next day, I found her gone. And you told me she was in Kyoto.

But you didn't come after her. You left not just her but all of us.

sumanu, Sano. But I thought to myself that after I had proposed to her, and we did get married, what comes after? I can't afford her to be the only one working while I don't. I want to look decent in front of her. When she becomes my wife, I want her only to be MY WIFE, and I'll do the working for our family

That's why I left for Yokohama. I worked as security for a rich businessman's son there and when I decided to leave, he gave me a large sum—enough for me to settle down, actually. But then I thought what if I make a good investment out of it? That's why I decided to build a school. It may not teach the rest of the Hiten Mitsurugi sword technique, but its ideals and intermediate skills are enough to be discovered and learned by many. The rest goes from there.

Sano shook his head. Gomen, Kenshin

Kenshin shrugged his shoulders.

I've always loved Kaoru-dono right from the start. She gave me my new life, my faith and my very existence. While I was in Yokohama, I've encountered many problems. The government questioning me, the former hitokiri battousai, why would I build a school of my sword technique? Others would say that future hitokiris might just spring out from my school. It was long before I decided to go back here in Tokyo. But I wrote to Kyoto.

You wrote to Jou-chan?

Hai. It was addressed to the Aoiya. But I got no reply from neither each of them. I gave up after sending a few more.

She didn't received any.

Shrugs.

Long silence.

Now that you know that she loves you, what are you going to do now?

Do I know now?

Don't be smart. I'm already telling you, why won't you believe?

Not until I hear it from her personally.

Well, you can just bet, she wouldn't be the first to tell you that.

Pause.

When is she coming back from Kyoto?

She said we'll be staying there for a week.

Kenshin nodded in agree.

You're not going back to Yokohama?

Not until I talk to her.

Pause.

Tell me, Sano. Why are you doing this?

If you only knew Kenshin. If you weren't the only one who's making her happy, I'd strangle you myself. Kusou. What do you think?

You have come to love her?

Sano didn't mind his question.

But Kenshin knew quite well what he's supposed answer was.

Just promise me, Kenshin. Don't hurt her anymore. Not ever.

Looking directly at the eyes of both who has the same heart in love with the same woman.

Understood.

He called a waiter.

Two cups of sake, onegai.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru almost read the letters for the tenth time now in her bosom. Okina gave the letters to her after the night she had opened her problems to them. Misao admitted that she was the one who told them to keep the letter from her because it will just confuse her. She was now living quietly in Tokyo at that time. She doesn't need Kenshin anymore. And she came back to Tokyo upon learning that he had left, hasn't she?

Kaoru was able to tell the others about everything that has happened to her. She had managed to ask for their forgiveness and was not in vain. She felt lighthearted as she decided to go back to Tokyo soon. Everybody was happy as they usually were.

Last but not the least, now she holds in her palm the evidence that she indeed love Kenshin. And if she were to believe Sano, he still loves her too. She was full of gladness in thinking about it. After so many years, her fight with grief was now over. Now she has a reason to wake up in the morning and face the new days ahead.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~ 

Kaoru was left alone at the Tokyo train station. Yahiko and Sano excused themselves to get their carriages. Tsubame and the others were told by Kaoru to go home ahead of her.

She irritatingly fixed her short ponytail from behind. She felt the warm atmosphere clinging on her skin.

Mou! I should have gotten my own ride in the first place! I'll beat the heads of those two, I promise! she whispered to herself.

She was wailing her head when she heard someone called her name. Turning around, she couldn't believe who she saw.

Her heart was singing, but there was still fear, she does not know if she should smile of what to Kenshin. She tried to distort her face but her eyes were glistening with joy.

What are you doing here?

I'm fetching you, de gozaru na.

Naze? What about Yahiko and Sano, where could they be?

I told them I'd be in charge of you now.

You're in charge of me? Who gave you that permission?

Aishiteru, Kamiya Kaoru. Now, do I have to get a permission?

I said I love you'.

I thought I heard something else.

Kenshin took her other belongings from her hand. They walked towards Kenshin's carriage. He spoke suddenly.

Aren't you going to tell me something?

Is there any that I should tell you?

I don't know. But I don't care, I can wait.

Are you still the persistent ruruoni I know?

You can wait even for a long time.

If needed, then I will and I can.

And, what if I told you that you might not have to wait that long?

Kenshin stopped walking. He put down the bags. He held her shoulders and looked inside her eyes.

I'm waiting, Kaoru.

I said you wouldn't have to wait. Aishiteru, Kenshin.

His fear and anxiousness disappeared all of a sudden, Kenshin embraced Kaoru tightly. For a long time.

He kissed her hair softly, Then gazed in marvel of the beauty in front of him. Kaoru returned his look with love in her eyes.

I love you too.

What too'? You were the first to admit. It was I who should be saying I love you too'.

Kenshin laughed aloud. He got her things again at their feet.

Sano knows you very well indeed.

I said aishiteru. 

I love you too.

They walked laughingly hand-in-hand to his carriage. Before they left, he looked outside the window and blinked one eye to a coach nearby. Kaoru did not see him.

A few minutes after Kenshin and Kaoru had left, when the coach began to move also.

I never thought he was REALLY Kenshin, Sano.

That was because you still possess a brain the size of a pea, Yahiko-CHAN Sano smirked.

Kiena! Who would EVER think he's the Himura we've known before?

Well, all of us did

That busu have a lot of explaining to do when we get home

I pity you, Yahiko.

SHUT UP TORI-ATAMA! Oi, what about you? When are you going to marry, anyway? Want us to go to Aizu to fetch kitsune?

Sano's eyes were glaring with mischief. 

At last, you made sense 

**THE END**

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

** That's it! The end of the story. I hope you liked it. Thanks for all the reviews! It was all worth it. THANKS! Watch out for the next. Ja ne!**

^_^


	11. Japanese Glossary

**Japanese Glossary**

Aa - 'yes", less formal than hai.

Aishiteru - 'I love you'

Anata- Normally means "you"; from wife to husband takes the meaning "darling"

Ano: a placeholder, something like 'um'.

Arigatou gozaimasu - Thank you very much 

Baka: a commonly used non-obscene insult. Literally, 'stupid'.

Busu- Ugly/Hag

Chikusho- an exclamation of frustration, equivalent to "Damn!" or "Shit!" Comparable exclamations are kuso (literally "shit") and shimatta.

-chan / -kun- Honorifics attached to names if they are family members or close friends. Chan for girls and Kun for boys usually.

Daijoubu - all right

Daijoubu?- Are you all right? 

Daijoubu ka? – Are you alright? 

Dame- bad, no good; no can do. One very common usage is dame desu/dame da, uttered when refusing permission or indicating that something is a bad idea.

Dame da – Its no good 

De gozaru- Kenshin's way of saying "desu" or "gozaimasu".

Demo: 'but'

Douka shita no? - what's wrong?

Doushitano? – What's wrong? 

Doushite de gozaru ka? - "why?" Kenshin style 

Futon: a Japanese bed, a thin mattress sitting on the floor.

Ganbatte – Good luck / Cheer up 

Gi: The short robe tied with a sash worn as a shirt. Kenshin's is pink.

Gomen nasai: polite form of 'I'm sorry.'

Hakama: The wide-legged flowing pants Kenshin wears.

Hai - yes 

Iie - no 

Jou-chan- Sano's nickname for Kaoru; literally means "little missy".

Kami- God, gods. This term can also be applied to any supernatural being with a specific domain/charge/sphere.

Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu: the school of martial arts founded by Kaoru's father.

Kaoru-dono- Kenshin's way of saying "Kaoru-san", which means "Miss Kaoru".

Kawaii- cute. More than a mere adjective, kawaii qualifies as an aesthetic and an obsession in Japan. A less common, secondary meaning is "cherished, beloved." Note: kawai sou means "How sad" or "How pitiful." Use caution before calling someone pitiful-looking, as Kawai is not etymologically related to Kawaii.

Kenshin no hentai- Kenshin you pervert

Kiena! – Get lost! 

Kitsune-onna - Fox lady

Konnichiwa - Hello 

Konbanwa - Good evening 

Kora! – Hey!

Kusou - Damn 

Masaka- Can it be?; It can't be!, No!

Matsu- to wait. The shouted command "Wait" is "Matte (kudasai)!" or "Machinasai!" Mate! is an abbreviated form of Matte!

Mochiron- of course, without a doubt.

Mou- already. As an exclamation of frustration, it means "Enough!" or "Geez!". Kaoru's habitual expression of annoyance.

Musume- young woman. As an epithet, ko musume is stronger than a literal translation of "little girl" would suggest. When used in this sense, "girlie" or "bitch" come closer to capturing the meaning.

Nan demo nai - nothing 

Nani/Nanda: 'what?'

Naze - why 

Ohayou- abbreviated form of ohayou gozaimasu, "good morning." Men have the option of using the reduced form ossu in casual speech.

Ohayou gozaimasu - Good morning 

Oi- Hey

Onegai- truncated form of onegai shimasu, "I beg of you," "Please" or "Pretty please." Without the o- prefix, it means "wish."

Oro- Kenshin's signature comment. Usually used when Kenshin's confused.

Oyasumi nasai - Goodnight 

Rurouni- No such word exists. Nobuhiro Watsuki created this word by playing around with the word "ronin" meaning samurai with no master. Roughly translates as "wanderer".

Sayonara - Goodbye 

Sessha - I, Kenshin style - lit. "this unworthy one" 

Shihondai: A dojo student advanced enough to teach others. Kaoru's rank in the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu.

Shoji- Japanese sliding door 

Sou da ne?: 'Is that so?'

Sou ka – maybe' 

Suki da – I love you / I like you

Sumanu - I'm sorry 

Tanuki- Raccoon 

Tori-atama- Rooster Head

Uso! – No way!(Iie!) 

Yappari – I thought so 

Yurushite kudasai, meaning "Forgive me!"


End file.
